twould be perfectly beautiful, nestled in the finest paper, with some dark flowered cover, and an envelope. fancy font on the front that says, "For you on our anniversary" $1.99

was he busing tables?

one too many yets in stanza 2. the simplicity and almost child-like feel of the poem is appealing.

Or maybe he was auditioning for the Sopranos.

for the love of god above? is that a joke?

You make my head hurt. Home that beauty made means simply a place where beauty appears like on the face of a baby or in a flower garden.The last line of stanza 2 is a lead in to the first line of stanza 3. I somewhat agree with you on stanza 4 but the trick is to show the argument between what fondly was and what bitterly is. I'm not arguing with you though. Just thought I'd explain myself. Your critique is very useful. Thank you

I agree. It needs finished. It needs the sonnet. But that ain't done yet.

No actually It's all a true story. Except maybe it wasn't Jesus I saw... mmmnahh It was definately Christ.

an absolutely wonderful treatise on soup

melancholic? sweet cheese is a good name.

this is a poem?

If your Intent was to turn words into music. Bravo. The repetitive "ings" and "ands" and "E's" create a chiming bell effect. A little daunting to read but if in the right mood one can enjoy this. (See E A Poe's The Bells)

Your first name's not Scott is it? "May the verse be with you."

An Ode to plumbers everywhere. Nice little ditty.

Comforting and disturbing at the same time. Needs a better ending. But Pretty effective.

Thuckering thuckatash Mr. Peterthon. Exthellent Free verthe. Great work.

It sounds nice and steamy but I'm a little sleepy and I just don't want to think so hard. S&M poetry? The word "Fucking" is the most Puritan part of the whole piece.

The measure of a good poem is the amount of felt life it contains, and this contains a lot.

This poem touches so many bases. You could have beat the Red Sox with it. Perfecto Mundo.

sorry I meant Mark Hamill. I need sleep.