You're foreign.

Intensely lewd, particularly the bit where you scoff your grandmother's remains.

Ok Here's my 2 cents. Words and letters are pictures. Abstract symbols. Heirogliphs. So they are applicable to the laws of graphic design.(I'm not talking Concrete poetry). What I mean is placement or layout of words can change their power somewhat.For instance the word stop on a sign has more significance then the word stop on a VCR. Indents are a great way to say this next word has extra meaning, it's more important. As far as breathing and pauses go. It's more of a crap shoot. It depends on who is reading it.Here's a verse of a bad poem I wrote that attempts to make the reader run out of breath. I never dreamed that I would see such beauty like Emily her eyes a silver blue sea that envelopes me as I gaze upon thee I am helplessly I am hopelessly drowning drowning in her beauty lost at sea in a silver blue sea See what I mean "crap shoot". Ed through the dice and I think he got a 7.

Great work. No need to comment. The work speaks for itself.

comment by Richard E. Watley just beautiful

i like my fright well salted. This and the redundancy already pointed out aside, the mood creation is effective.

Your a very versital poet. You seem to cover a wide spectrum with your body of work. Jack of all trades master of some you got it in spades

This is exactly what every single black person looks like: http://tinyurl.com/4tz3k

killer opening really cool likey - very much

Don't like the city much. Do you?

Distinctive, real refreshing to see thoughts/poetry like this.

is it possible to reap what is already dead? Or would that just be collection? Great ending

though i would suggest, "i pondered the robin's plight" "on" seems out of place and the to capitalize "Robin" makes me think of Batman. I pondered the robins' plight and we both searched for a new home.

Sure beats "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..."

a wicked and inspired jug solo

i would suggest "new" in place of "anew" also, "fall" in place of "falter" a 10 anyway

I am out of shape. Lack of groceries has suppressed my masochism. Somewhat.

Starting with Hitchcock and ending with porn? Useually my day is the reverse of that.

I thinks Van Gogh's more of an adjective in this poem. Like "How was your day.- Oh It's been van gogh. I've got an Ode to Dali I might just post up for you art fans.

i really like this one bratsy!