Re: tone-deaf or color-blind by nentwined	nentwined 75.83.196.201	11-Mar-09/8:29 PM
I've been poeming a lot since ... last Friday, I think. I hit on a new voice in a few of them, and I'm trying to figure that out--but in the meantime, thoughts seem to be wanting to express themselves in this form. This is a thought, not something that's looking for publication, so it's not hidden for future re-working. In fact, as I'm listening to some beautiful YouTube mash-ups [[ http://thru-you.com/ ]] by a person named (or calling himself) Kutiman, I'd love to create some sort of dialog out of it. So: I hereby release the poem and its accompanying audio into the public domain; if you see some promise in either, do with them as thou wilt. And I'd love to know what you think. :) I'm particularly unhappy with s3--I don't think it says what it needs to, but my thoughts started to falter (and my rhythm, though a part of me hopes that works ;) ). And perhaps I don't explore the metaphor (if it's really a metaphor) enough in the first two stanzas... and the fear is important, but I just touch on it (that was supposed to be the core as much as the "sounds", but it didn't go that way).
regarding some deleted poem...	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	12-Mar-09/10:46 PM
this will definitely be revised at some point, or pried apart. It wants to be two poems, but a delicate touch is needed to seperate the conjoined sisters.
regarding some deleted poem...	Bill Z Bub 99.239.12.102	13-Mar-09/7:54 AM
I revised this 5 times in the last 10 minutes. I'll stop for now to await comments, but I still haven't got the final line right. Not to mention the rest of the poem.
Re: A Fart For All Mankind by Edna Sweetlove	i love my midget 209.20.88.10	30-Mar-09/6:41 AM
This is great. Everybody else are cunt-holes.
Re: I want you by nicole081083	Freethinker1602 96.255.158.119	1-Apr-09/6:15 AM
it's not so terrible, has a good ring when read aloud. gets mundane in the middle and not as good in the end. the beginning is good. don't listen to those jerks. what may help also, right in a code,images. say the person has blue eyes, you could write "lovely blue jay you flew away before you even landed you left my branches bare i tried to catch you but you're too cunning emptiness makes my heart tare" just a suggestion helps make the poem reading and writing more fun and interesting.
regarding some deleted poem...	Christof 87.115.33.229	6-Apr-09/6:28 AM
Lovely and rueful, but the second line I don't really understand - is it the wind making the elm trace the love making name on the wall?
Re: Fake Door County Trip by jessicazee	Christof 87.115.33.229	6-Apr-09/6:32 AM
There a plenty of things I don't understand here - I'm being very stupid today, blame it on jet lag as I've just flown back from New York. For one, the title is meaningless to me; secondly, I have no idea what you mean about your trip to the store being handbasketed. However, I love the first stanza and the conversational tone of this.
Re: battle of the sexes by i love my midget	Christof 87.115.33.229	6-Apr-09/6:35 AM
Your argument didn't really get you anywhere did it? Neither did your poem. This is a tiresome subject tiresomely recounted.
Re: I want you by nicole081083	Christof 87.115.33.229	6-Apr-09/6:37 AM
I fully expect to hear this lyric attached to a Miley Cyrus song soon. I don't mean this as a compliment.
Re: Graveyard(Cry of the living) by alvinb	Christof 87.115.33.229	6-Apr-09/6:39 AM
A lovely stare? Lovely forced rhyme, more like it.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 75.79.52.219	25-Apr-09/3:00 PM
I love Hafiz or Hafez. Can't comment on your translation, but love the man, unless all you translators have added wine guzzling heresy and passionate sex to a hermit.
Re: Javelin Jungle by T. Jonathron Remp	http://mulberryfairy 70.16.67.83	5-May-09/6:39 PM
I loved your wordplay, and am trying to get the movement of your non-sequiturs.
Re: Lament for something or another. by Nicholas Jones	http://mulberryfairy 70.16.67.83	5-May-09/6:41 PM
I agree, I thought?
Re: disaster in the flesh by Crakyamuni	http://mulberryfairy 70.16.67.83	5-May-09/6:46 PM
Perfect except for the "never, never" repetition, I don't think it needed the clarification about the last juncture/ kiss goodnight thing.
regarding some deleted poem...	http://mulberryfairy 70.16.67.83	5-May-09/6:49 PM
translated from whose writing?
Re: Jasmine by A. Nomaly	http://mulberryfairy 70.16.67.83	5-May-09/6:56 PM
I like the placement of your punctuation- how it makes each phrase part of the line and part of a more complete thought with their different meanings.
Re: Making a Man by Christof	http://mulberryfairy 70.16.67.83	5-May-09/6:58 PM
Beautiful and real. "flute through the easy powder"?
Re: Clinging to....Life? by sliver	http://mulberryfairy 70.16.67.83	5-May-09/7:00 PM
3rd verse is the best. Fourth verse typo "ache"?
Re: no title by Dovina	Aetius 66.224.190.206	7-May-09/1:17 PM
On rare occasions, your ability to write almost manages to break through into something you've posted here.
Re: Water Music, Revisited by http://mulberryfairy	T. Jonathron Remp 76.192.231.3	12-May-09/3:36 PM
Aphricka is my favourite land aplenty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!