Excellent.

I wouldn't feel right if I didn't give my opinion here. Please take no offense. s-1 gentle embrace- find something better s-2 lose the (but) I don't like "Moon river" If kthat was what was playing, keep it. one too many commas in the closing I think. Still ,an 8. Take what you like and dump the rest. Or dump it all.

rhyming imagine with fathom is clever. I have a problem with the triple rhyme, it seems to surprise me every time I read it, it seems unnatural

I don't think you should rhyme flee with see, it seems so forced.

Cute no doubt, the only real drawback is it lacks ambition, it does not really give a killer insight.

8. I would like to see this dance. work it, rockman. make it rock.

no comment

You've outdone yourself with this grouped trio R.G. Kicks ass.

Man above, gods below? This is hard to encompass. Large is small and small is large and back again. I get a bit queasy.

Wow! Very wistful!

This has some really nice moments--secret history, nomads and oases and sandalwood, etc.--but the imagery is a bit all over the place. Some nits too--thunder doesn't taste like anything, "within my specter"?, and "creneled" isn't a word (though crenelated is). Could do with some pruning and redirection, but you've made a good start.

I like the last tercet best. Nice image you build here. Syllable counts aside, this is haiku, though you'll get the "this isn't 5-7-5" naysayers anyway. (Anyway, many poets write haikus that don't strictly conform to 5-7-5--there is much more to a haiku than the number of its syllables.)

thanks for the comments... ok - i'll give ya the crenelated thing. but how do you know thunder has no taste - you can hear it, feel it, so whose to say you can't taste it? And if you could taste it - what do you think it might taste like? Also, if a bar is filled with smoke and I'm weightless like clouds and you saw through the haze of it all to see me - might I not appear a scepter?

I meant specter - mind the type-o's - it's friday and Elvis has already left the building...

There's always another corner, But I'm sure you'll squeek thru'.

Atrocious use of "above" to rhyme with "love", but you redeemed yourself with the ace use of "grape" to rhyme with "escape".

lewd

So when did Patsy Kline and you get together on writing a poem?

I like your poem. . . it's always darkest before the dawn, right?

I like the title a lot