rhythmic, as it should be...

Good grief, how have I missed this until now?

Wal-Mart demolished my childhood mini-golf course.

This is either very clever - or just too easy...can't decide yet.

Hahahahaha

i'd be curious to hear the music to this.

i liked, "A spider-web like music staff/ crawled across your safety glass." I'm not sure how this all relates to a central theme, though it seems to be describing some aspect of an automobile accident. i don't like "a raving hypocrite" or "a rampart of regrets" - i understand why they're there, but i'd say those moments of reflection interrupt the flow you've developed in the rest of the poem.

breath of fresh air is cliche. so is live in the now. other than those blips, this is an evocative series of images.

is the misspelling of whoopie and condalezza intentional? funny and fun to read.

Fire starter/ Oil for barter - great line!

old age needs glasses

too true

you have some beautiful imagery in this, but there are also some atrocious phrasing choices and grammatical errors that interrupt your flow. final stanza is superb. this could be SO much better with a little proofreading.

chained in their vanity? i don't think that phrase works where it is. otherwise clever and thought-provoking. I like the rhythm.

don't ditch your language use, just add a few more specific details to complete the image.

crap.

eep!

Have you been in a charity shop recently?

This is an ace argument for the Iraq war.

Rejoice and praise ?-Dave_Mysterious-? His face is ace, his touch imperious, He makes buxom young women delirious, No! of course I'm not being serious! ?-Dave_Mysterious-? well done on relogging in after four years, just one other thing - could you file a patent for this ill-conceived contraption I invented as a panacea for all domestic chores? http://tinyurl.com/2yfdzj