INTRANSIT
on Cross Pollination by Jeremi B. Handrinos
15 Jan 2004, 12:40 PM
And WHOOOMP!!!! There it is. the baby, off course.
Kale? Parsley? Lemon peel? What is a proper garnish for such an event? Prawn skin?
Life can only get better in the future, but lives in misery. Hmmm. I'll get back to you.
I confused about moose horns. The only moose around here ar e the robotic ones at Disneyland, and they speak English. Are those horns blown by hunters, or is that the proper way to discribe the voice of a moose?
I like the poem. I vote for 'soul' in the last line.
You're the only one I can tolerate this kind of stuff from. Poetry, that is. Is it? bivalve and arthroscopic made me peanut butter and jelly my keyboard.
Garish, and prudent. Such as it should be when one is a man of the cloth, and altered.
Water and oil apparently do mix; welcome back.
"mad grey men
capped white with passing"
most excellent.
the line break conveys the length well; nice!
I like it, with one small exception - okay two, but the second is more general.
The first stanza - mixed metaphor, I think you can fix it with removing the last three lines (and still completely retain the meaning).
It may be my taste, but I kept feeling like strings of words could be removed here and there, maybe 2,3 words in a row - to make the remainder more rich.
some of the rhyming threw me a little. Intriguing - sounds like a bigger story is left unsaid.
Other than the bumps, I loooove eeeeet!
Did you scare the dark one away? lol. He must of scared himself away as usual. He's taught me a lot, I hate to see him go like that, it's depressing.
Golden Que Tip Awarde.
This is the best thing you've ever written. Blew me away.
A cracking good volley mate.
makes me think.... hurts... but i like it.
wow.... great.
what is wrong with this... shit.
See William Blake.