-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on some deleted poem
25 Jan 2004, 1:37 PM
There has not been a more devastatingly accurate description of the sex act since Charles Dickens spent three days inside a whore writing feverishly. -10-
I'm giving you an A+. Wonderful!
Ah, si romantique!
Onouluvme - Votes generally don't mean a thing. Check out http://www.poemranker.com/poem-topten.js
Not really a haiku, though. That gets my goat.
How did this turn into such crap after pretty good opening lines? It's like you lost faith. Go back down Gumdrop Pass to about halfway through the first stanza and start again.
"I was unable to control myself. As I passed him on the gangplank, I shook my fist in his face. 'You pathetic duffer! There isn't a crew! Why don't you just admit that you're a lonely failure? Why continue with this demeaning charade?'
At my outburst, his tears changed colour and flowed the more. He flung his arms over his eyes and rushed below deck, beard dripping with the dew of misery."
'Rawhead & Bloody Bones', by Rhys H. Hughes
Shame on you. Ripping off Whitney.
http://www.lyrics007.com/Whitney%20Houst
It would be really good to learn how to spell and punctuate properly
It would be even better with a bunch of seven-letter words starting with Qu or X. No, I can't think of any myself right now.
I'd like to see you write something longer than haiku. You'll be a long time filling a book that way.
I LOVE it, I'm only giving you a 9 cuz I wish I wrote it
it's s good poem, but too much of a mainstream-teen kinda thing...you also don't don't have confidence in any of your poems, which is kinda sad
Sometimes the darker angel presents to the nostrils an apple of the Tree of Life.
other times........
not so much.
romantic in nature.i like it so much!
sweet n spontanious
superb! give u an A++ :)
How well do you know Chris Buckley?
No no no. Wasn't this copied off the back of a Shania Twain album?
"Stagnant pools of seamen"? You know I was otherwise bound to like this. One thing, though: the end of a stanza never-ever is the same as a period. You have to go back and put some in.