yap. A break-up poem.

A gentleman's prune. -10-

Satisfied with pain (best summation 2004, sso far).

Please tell me more of this "child support ending" you speak of - can it be true?? Not as poetic as your usual fair, ~12. Cathartic? I'll give it an 8 cuz it doesn't suck.

Forever and infinity are a bit redundant used together this way. "eighteen and you're thankful" Aparently you're writing as the father, but I'd make it clearer. "future yet unseen" is trite. The second-to-last stanza changes POV to his son's girlfriend, which detracts from the very nice theme you develop up to here. Still the stanza is good. The last stanze wraps it up nicely, but I'd build on conception/misconception. It's a too true story.

I would not try to make this rhyme. You have a provocative thing to say; it doesn't need rhyme.

An Acme douple-seated arse tractor of beards!

A coxless four of unimaginable girth!

A bearded unicorn's buttock wipe of a love poem!

its a... ah.. experimental battery-powered unfathomably that_transforms_into which_can_be_used_to_repel lobster duster spoon attack-buttock-infested offal essence. -10-

Reader's-Digest-like (-1) New-Republic-reading (-1) Wolf-Blitzer-doggerel-believing (-1) Secretly-suspecting-all-homeless-people-of-drug-abuse (-1) Utterly-unoriginal-in-its-conception-of-terrorists-gays-and-hobos-as-unredeemably-doomed-by-their-own-evil-natures-and-furthermore-necessary-to-an-economy-whose-providential-end-is-to-produce-priveleged-white-guys-such-as-ourselves (-1) Occasionally-funny (+1)

"While sex is a wonderful, God-given gift, it can be abused like a drug to medicate pain from past rejection, abuse and other wounds. Today, many people find themselves locked in addictive cycles with pornography, masturbation, illicit sex, online affairs, fetishes, phone sex or other sexual activities. If you think you are addicted or know someone who is, this site may be helpful to you."

""For me, it started with the little things such as "soft-porn", and before I knew it I was spending many evenings and early mornings locked in my bedroom entertaining this seedy indulgence. Pornography is such a integral part of my life that only very recently did I realize that this demon had imbedded itself into my Heart of Darkness."

"13) Looking at porn helps you start to believe the lies it promotes. Examples lies include: * Sexual freedom = happiness * Perverted sex is more enjoyable than "normal" heterosexual sex (homosexual sex, incest, BDSM, etc) * There are no consequences to sexual promiscuity * Sexual expression is a right, not a God-given or God-defined gift * You can live a healthy life with the porn images floating around in your mind * Porn doesn't harm anyone * Sex is something to be done primarily for self gratification * The porn stars are the happiest people on earth * Adults can view porn without any lasting side effects * Porn will help your sex life * Porn is just a harmless thing that every man looks at"

I think this is a bit longer than it needs to be to express the sentiment. Which, I have to admit, is a bit difficult to ascertain. Gonna need some punch - best done in a smaller space.

I think I've heard this guy.

First verse good. Second verse confusing. "reaction mixes eye"? What does diurnal time have to due with the solstices, which come summer and winter, not spring and fall? Third verse confusing.

Captivating and calming. I like it !

Do you see how staircase and face don't rhyme? Really, do you recognise the difference between them? - Genuinely Curious

hmm.... I like Final Cut.. hmm.. I'm gonna have to think so more about that but good idea! thanks! -Angie