poemranker ::A Little Further by thepinkbunnyofdoom

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Free verse № 96356

A Little Further

by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Member since 2003 · Posted 7 Apr 2004 · 9 comments

This page is full of divits and dents From writing so fierce, over feelings so intense That they left echos through out the book These words make the next that much more broken

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mean 6.97 weighted 6.96 rank 134 views 416 View voting details →

29 votes so far. Yours would make 30.29 votes so far

9 comments

[10] Tara57 7-Apr-04/5:50 PM Reply
Hell yes
[n/a] Spindle 7-Apr-04/8:08 PM Reply
Love it
[5] nentwined 8-Apr-04/4:40 PM Reply
divits -> divets
through out -> throughout

I like the idea, less so the execution. With four lines, the second is awkward and the fourth is just a tongue twister.
[5] nentwined › nentwined 8-Apr-04/4:42 PM Reply
er. divits -> divots. sorry. :)
[8] Shuushin 4-Feb-05/1:47 PM Reply
could do without the "so", and "that", still very nice.
[8] gregsamsa222 28-Mar-05/7:58 PM Reply
Nice. Tho i think These words that make the next more broken might work better. Just a thought.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › gregsamsa222 29-Mar-05/12:27 AM Reply
And a good one. I'll keep that in mind when I tackle a rewrite.

<3 Jason
[0] Stephen Robins 31-Mar-05/3:12 AM Reply
Appallingly damp.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › Stephen Robins 31-Mar-05/2:31 PM Reply
I was thinking dry, but its your opinion.