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Exquisite Explosion (Free verse) by Venus Clothed in my sucker suit today
I wait for you
and your
clockwork cloudburst
With atypical authority
you pine under an
aquamarine architrave
waiting to shower me
with condensed milk
confetti
then comes
the exquisite explosion.
Up the ladder:
Deck's Tavern
Down the ladder:
Australian Red
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.3
Posted: August 8, 2002 9:49 PM PDT; Last modified: August 8, 2002 9:49 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.15 Overall Rank: 5220 Comments:
[8]
Bachus @ 24.126.113.154
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9-Aug-02/1:14 AM
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Reply
Exquisitet
I like this. 7. The use of language is well chosen and expressive. A nice poem.
I don't know why i like this but i do. Probably the aquamarine architrave. Good word choice. I read this as a coming thunderstorm. (But may be wrong).8.
Oh shite. Now I'm really splitting in two. Hah! LOL! Odoylum's jewels!
Nice alliteration. Did you have to discard 'creamy custard' or 'manly molasses' before arriving at 'condensed milk confetti'?
This is funny as well as sexy...nice work. :) ~Jade
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