Shit-Crumpets for supper!

Did you ever eat a shit-crumpet? Or watch it bubble up on the griddle, venting its sweet perfume? If not, I pity you- its a wonderful treat, a speciality of mine. The feces used orginate from cows, dogs, sometimes cats- but human dung is most prefered for the best shit-crumpets. And even better? Diaper poo- freshest shit known to man, and emits the most aromatic scents on the griddle. Please, come by sometime and taste my shit-crumpets!