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Man & Woman (Haiku) by Mona Lisa All women want hugs
Some men just want what follows,
What follows......neither !
Up the ladder:
A Surgeons Butchery
Down the ladder:
Jerry and Jack
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Posted: September 18, 2003 5:10 AM PDT; Last modified: September 18, 2003 10:43 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.0 Overall Rank: 7557 Comments:
[8]
richa @ 81.178.249.169
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18-Sep-03/5:15 AM
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Reply
Like the logic of this, the play on words, the two different follows
[n/a]
Mona Lisa @ 62.105.119.105
> richa
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18-Sep-03/7:42 AM
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Reply
Out by 1 syl on line 3 have u any ideas?
huh? the last line doesn't make sense to me. You're also taking a risk when you say "All women" is that ever true?
I prefer the first one even though it was not strictly a haiku. (3rd line what follows is neither)
As for 'all women', I did think that was a bit generalist. But the power of this poem is its logic how the 3rd line concludes the premises of 1 and 2. Sorry I can't help
the 6-7-6 one was better.
Now the first line sounds like all women rather than all they want. And the third destroys the flow a bit. Sorry I couldn't help, maybe if you put the first version on and asked for help someone might have an idea
I am against Gaysie Marriage too. What will they want next, free penises?
I know the feeling. I'm a male prostitute.
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