| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Up for a game? (Free verse) by LuckyJoe Dazing off in pure entertainment,
A belt sea sawing, the pivot an index finger,
Not paying attention to the conversation around,
All that matters is this simple thing.
Attached to the belt a circular case,
The minds embrace encased,
Time for the unleashing has come.
Unzip releasing the demons cage,
Two unite as one,
A cue stick, their favorite toy.
âUp for a game ten or twenty a rack?â
Up the ladder:
Island Vacation
Down the ladder:
leaping into loss
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Posted: September 17, 2003 1:32 AM PDT; Last modified: September 17, 2003 1:32 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.4610424 Overall Rank: 2869 Comments:
[8]
Druid_Girl_1984 @ 209.214.109.202
|
17-Sep-03/11:57 AM
|
Reply
i will bless this poem with an 8.
C notes preferably
C notes don't go on single games here. I'm not that stupid anyone can win one game. But ta-won spots go on single games (twenty) mini of 5 games. C notes go on races typically to 10 with weight. Play eight or nine ball? Ring nine and three ball are big gambling games around here. Three ball is a joke, break as hard as you can a little off from head ball drop one or two every time...easy money.
cute imagery, flow I think could make this really nice. 7.
Thank you for the vote and the comment. I'll try to find a little bit of time to attempt to make it flow. Sometime tomorrow I'm sure I'll give it a look over. Thanks for the ideas. They should be useful I see the lack of flow.
an improvement, you have been struggling for awhile, but this is proof that there is hope. 7.
191 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
