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Aphrodite (edited) (Sonnet) by Caducus From Poseidon, Aphrodite appeared,
With eyes aquamarine that shone,
From virgin sight I was endeared,
The ocean bowed which she walked upon.
Semitic goddess of rapturous deity,
Embrace me like you do the earth.
Salt from my eyes for you I lay at sea,
Let my sadness of envy be our mirth.
But from the zealous palms of Cronus,
The sickle splits my flesh to froth,
Sonâs of Hesiod come to stone us,
My blood mixes in to salty broth,
And I spread around her immortal flesh,
And we are one in togetherness.
Up the ladder:
Death On Arrival
Down the ladder:
sum of squares
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.3846154
Posted: August 22, 2003 2:43 AM PDT; Last modified: August 22, 2003 11:34 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.743294 Overall Rank: 471 Comments:
much better
Thanks, I've overdosed on the Bard last night and hath doth just possessed me. I can't frickin wait for PAKI's comment, ahhh don't you just love the calm before the storm?
cad--nice first try. but. why. do. you. insist. on. writing. with. a. different. voice. than. the. one. you. speak. with., just. because. it's. a. sonnet???
see how fucking annoying that is? don't try to be so noble. tell me about her breats, and how they mounded up, wet and lustrous, like pearls. tell me about the tangle of arame that dresses her..erm, 'cavern'... tell me about the sand in your crotch. that's what i want to hear.
The sad thing is Z I was reading up about her and everthing was going great until I read one theory was that she originated from Uranus, I mean how can that be erotic? I will ask dark angel about the sand in the crotch bit and from what I saw of the few pictures of Aphrodite she looks a B cup at max but I found the sonnet quite difficult this whole 4-4-4-2 thing looks easy but easy it aint.
I will think about her breasts and know what your getting at and can see a different version unfolding like -Q- in my head. Fanks for reading
A really brave attempt. I could edit this.
Be my guest, your the greek and its my 1st sonnet so so your thang please
From Poseidon, Aphrodite appeared,
Eyes aquamarine, and true as the dawn. From her virgin flesh all wave horses reared, As an Ocean bowed when she walked upon. Immaculate goddess of men's delight, Embrace me as if I was Hephaestus After fire pounding steel all day and night. My mouth to yours, my hands to your discus'. But my loss serves the will of the sky God Your uncle loves you enough to kill me. As the storm brings me down I find it's odd that love between men and gods cannot be. My love and my life to you I bequeeth I am yours out at sea just underneath.
Horus : that was so kind of you.
With your permisson can i post it as 'Aphrodite (horus8 version) You too have stuck to the story with a different twist and greek mythology is wicked don't you think. line 3 is so cool as is 2/8/9/10 and the crescendo says a lot about fate and i can think of 3 or 4 metaphors for the last line. Inspired.
Absolutely, it would be my honor.
need to work on your iambic pentameter a bit
also, it doesn't really speak to me, but i think that's just because i don't care much for this particular mythology 363 view(s)
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For some reason, that made me laugh.
Nice try, but this doesn't work for me. Too awkward:
"what they hath doth"?
Some word choices don't fit this one.
My 1st sonnet and there bloody hard.