poemranker ::walking by Rodavlas

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Free verse № 56280

walking

Member since 2003 · Posted 14 Jul 2003 · 5 comments

One day she walked close to me. she didn't say a word, but as I rubbed my eye I heard her sigh. She walked close to me. so close my hand would skim by her thigh. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, I heard ever strand pass by. She walked close to me. So close our hands would glide. so close her perfume would shine, the sweet scent was just so fine. I walked a little faster this time, as did she. I slowed down, we stopped, we smiled & snickered and leaned in for a kiss to remember.

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mean 7.00 weighted 6.00 rank 1262 views 178 View voting details →

11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

5 comments

[8] thepinkbunnyofdoom 14-Jul-03/4:18 PM Reply
Well done. -8-
[n/a] Rodavlas › thepinkbunnyofdoom 14-Jul-03/4:24 PM Reply
second stanza... speliing error...."i heard every strand pass by"
[n/a] <~> 14-Jul-03/9:54 PM Reply
no. last stanza--no way in hell.
the EVERYTHING is off, and that is not unique; it's just not right.
[4] horus8 15-Jul-03/7:25 AM Reply
crawling.
[5] scitz 15-Jul-03/3:59 PM Reply
Last stanzas good but the rest makes me want to blow bubbilicious and read teen mags. Lick this respectable number

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