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walking (Free verse) by Rodavlas
One day she walked close to me. she didn't say a word, but as I rubbed my eye I heard her sigh. She walked close to me. so close my hand would skim by her thigh. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, I heard ever strand pass by. She walked close to me. So close our hands would glide. so close her perfume would shine, the sweet scent was just so fine. I walked a little faster this time, as did she. I slowed down, we stopped, we smiled & snickered and leaned in for a kiss to remember.

Up the ladder: A Brand New Eye
Down the ladder: Translation

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 22
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 6.0
Overall Rank: 1263
Posted: July 14, 2003 2:33 PM PDT; Last modified: July 14, 2003 2:33 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.21.223 | 14-Jul-03/4:18 PM | Reply
Well done. -8-
[n/a] Rodavlas @ 68.81.136.124 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 14-Jul-03/4:24 PM | Reply
second stanza... speliing error...."i heard every strand pass by"
[n/a] <~> @ 64.252.23.227 | 14-Jul-03/9:54 PM | Reply
no. last stanza--no way in hell.
the EVERYTHING is off, and that is not unique; it's just not right.
[4] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 15-Jul-03/7:25 AM | Reply
crawling.
[5] scitz @ 195.92.168.169 | 15-Jul-03/3:59 PM | Reply
Last stanzas good but the rest makes me want to blow bubbilicious and read teen mags. Lick this respectable number

5
178 view(s)




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