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guilty mind (Free verse) by Angel_of_fait I'm going to take a shower be out in a hour
lay your head on the bed sleep with the dead,
curl up in a ball like your ma.Let it be said that your dead.
barried alive inside your head.
Bind the world barrie the sea float up to heaven just ot be with me.
Let it be said that i am just in your head.
To make you pay for what u said
To make you pay for what u did
To make you pay for what u are
then u shall be dead again and then i shall win.
Victoria Shanelle Nixon
Up the ladder:
Baby Turtle Hop
Down the ladder:
PainFul Of LiFe
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 2.909091
Posted: July 9, 2002 7:29 PM PDT; Last modified: July 9, 2002 7:29 PM PDTWeighted score: 3.9545455 Overall Rank: 13401 Comments:
do us a favor stay in the shower,or try to get out of the house little more.
Another classic piece from Angel_of_fait. You know, judging by the quality of your work, I'd say you've won some awards for your poemes! The standard of your English is top-notch! It doesn't at all suggest that you are virtually illiterate. Keep up the good work!
I will take your being 14 as an explanation for the quality of your poems. Also, learn spelling and grammar.
I don't want to be harsh, but you've got a few serious spelling errors, and it's just not good form to use "u" instead of "you". I would suggest that you run this through spell checker, and... redo the formatting. The lines would flow better if you said "Lay your head on the bed,
Sleep with the dead" instead of keeping that all one line. Granted, that's just my opinion, but I would consider doing those things and then reposting it. 202 view(s)
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why the use of "u" for "you" half of the time?