Poemranker [Poem: my life] [by sir_heff] Thu Nov 21 16:38:48 PST 2024

I die every night My life is a fight The hatred inside just eats me alive hatred of my self and what i cannot find happiness i searched for thats not in my mind it's in front of my eyes but i can not see its out there, in the air but i can not breathe

[10] cherish @ 68.51.210.55 | 8-Jan-03/5:13 PM | Reply

oh I love that. It is soooo moving and it expresses my feelings also.
!!!***10***!!!

[n/a] sir_heff @ 65.172.117.1 > cherish | 9-Jan-03/10:46 AM | Reply

thank you. i've gotten that responce from a lot of people i've showed it to. it only took me like 10 min. to wright this, but i reread it about a thousand times, then called like half my friends and read it to them, i was quite pleased with it :)

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 > sir_heff | 9-Jan-03/12:13 PM | Reply

I DO NOT LIKE IT.

[7] scitz @ 62.105.88.10 | 9-Jan-03/4:40 AM | Reply

Remorseful, and lamenting but the last 2 lines in my opinion dont work, a stronger metaphor needed for a strong poem ...7

[n/a] sir_heff @ 65.172.117.1 > scitz | 9-Jan-03/10:42 AM | Reply

thats funny, i really liked the last 2 lines. it kinda implyed that my search for happyness is suficating me... but i suspose i could have come up with something better :)

[n/a] BleedingRose @ 65.172.117.1 > sir_heff | 23-Apr-03/7:32 AM | Reply

If thats what came out, i say its perfect. if you try to hard to find something that sounds good, the point of your work will be lost.