Replying to a comment on:

my life (Free verse) by sir_heff

I die every night My life is a fight The hatred inside just eats me alive hatred of my self and what i cannot find happiness i searched for thats not in my mind it's in front of my eyes but i can not see its out there, in the air but i can not breathe

scitz 9-Jan-03/4:40 AM
Remorseful, and lamenting but the last 2 lines in my opinion dont work, a stronger metaphor needed for a strong poem ...7




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001