| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Caged (Free verse) by TxMstng02 Pounding against the cage
Like a beast inside
Breaking free
Living to die
Memories of afar
Where they will never go
Here to stay
Forever alone
Living to serve
But only one master
Love and hate show no mercy
Waiting for the time after
Sores of pain
Bleed from inside
A tiny prayer is said
Wishing to die
Escape from cruelty
On the inside
Cracks of pain
Cry out with no shame
The torture has no end
One after the other
They come to die
In front of millions
Who dare to cry
One tear is shed
Nothing ends
Alone here forever
Until the time is end
Pounding against the cage
Yet nothing is inside
Only memories
Of past
Which will only hide
Covered up from all that wishes to see
The torture
Until set free
Up the ladder:
A holiday warning
Down the ladder:
Damn Americans
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.285714
Posted: January 3, 2003 2:28 AM PST; Last modified: January 3, 2003 2:28 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.807899 Overall Rank: 11036 Comments:
[5]
<{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154
|
3-Jan-03/3:43 AM
|
Reply
once at the zoo last year the orangutan covered himself with a blanket, and wouldn't let no one see him, all day every day for like a month..it was funny stuff i tell you..quiet and eerie, than they brought in a specialist who said he needed a mate, now they are both under the blanket. wating for everyone to go home...true, but back to poetry.this is a...struggling peace, salmon like to swim upstream to feel the resistance, and earn the pussy...but if you turn one down stream he'll just find a pool to die in..also true. so GET OUT OF THE PULL, AND SWIM SWIM! that was a metaphor aimed at helping you write better poetry, do not try to do a jack ass stunt, and pool hop nude with a salmon tied to your guppie.that would be mobile poetry, and possibly land you in jail. e
Like the subject, quite like the poem but how impressed I would be to read it completely from the animals perspective, now that would earn maximum points, I might have a go at it - see I'm inspired !
(Went to see the chimps once as a kid and they chuked their shit at everyone gawping at them, THATS POETIC JUSTICE ) good day sir heres a 6
just read that your only 18, I am 29 and have written poetry since I was 14, this is quite mature for your age. Keep choosing subjects that interest you, try to avoid forcing yourself to write.
Some good advice: accept constructive criticism from the users on this site, most are cool only a few are vacuous twats, there will be some users you will hate to begin with but they are the ones you will respect as most are honest, some very crafty, some will decimate your work, some wont, sometimes the vote system will confuse you, sometimes a top poet will give you a 10 and another top poet will give you a zero, its all about taste, pathos and whether you are respected. Try and be courteous by offering critique on other peoples work. Their are some hidden diamonds on this site and one day when we're all dead we'll be rich. Good luck, now I'm off to lose another game of football
Yea I am only 18, but ive been through alot in my life thats why it may seem a bit mature. This poem isnt about animals as such, i should really let you all know that. Its about humanity. Slaves, ect.. Showing how the black slaves (or even jews) were punished for no reason, suffered the pain, treated unfair and put to death. I know its seems a strange topic to write on.. i feel strong about this subject though. thanks for commenting.
love, jax
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. 10!!!1
I like it..I don't get the low scores. Read mine about genital mutilation.
89 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
