poemranker ::Nightwalker by Another Bobjim?!?!

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Free verse № 33240

Nightwalker

by Another Bobjim?!?!

Member since 2002 · Posted 2 Jan 2003 · Edited 9 Jan 2003 · 26 comments

He stalks, Flitting, From shadow To shadow, Silently, Moving, Sliding gently Behind her, His victim, Soon, She will know His touch, Cold, And rough, Like the pools Of his eyes, Hard, Until, The final Act, Death.

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mean 4.22 weighted 4.61 rank 12466 views 223 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

26 comments

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 2-Jan-03/5:59 PM Reply
Replace the last word with "The victim's shoes are consumed."
[n/a] Another Bobjim?!?! › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 2-Jan-03/6:09 PM Reply
Perhaps. Or not. Thanks for the laugh.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Another Bobjim?!?! 6-Jan-03/10:30 AM Reply
Yeah no worries cheers mate! maybe catch you down the pub for laugh with the lads and a few beers! beer is so important to me. But not as important as saying the word 'beer' in a really cool way to all my friends! Nice one! Cheers!
[n/a] Bachus › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 2-Jan-03/7:06 PM Reply
i was thinking "The victims hooves are chewed up and shot through a straw at the chick in head gear on stool in the corner pulling the underwear out of her ass." (i mean buttocks, naturally)l
[n/a] Another Bobjim?!?! › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 5-Jan-03/3:39 AM Reply
How about, 'Flatulance.'
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Another Bobjim?!?! 6-Jan-03/10:32 AM Reply
No. Replace 'stalks' with 'breaks wind'
[n/a] Another Bobjim?!?! › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Jan-03/12:50 AM Reply
How about a new one: 'Shitewalker'?
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Another Bobjim?!?! 7-Jan-03/6:53 AM Reply
Replace the 'l' with an 'n'
[7] lunar › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Jan-03/1:43 PM Reply
I think you should make a new poem with everyones suggestions it would be a lot funner! (7 for freaking me out tho-i have to go wiv u to college-AHH!)
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › lunar 7-Jan-03/1:46 PM Reply
I hate you, lunar.
[7] lunar › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Jan-03/1:52 PM Reply
i hate you too, gorgeous ;ox
[n/a] RGallet › lunar 7-Jan-03/2:21 PM Reply
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH DARK ANGEL'S IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE
[n/a] RGallet › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Jan-03/5:11 PM Reply
Your stoic english heart will turn to stone if you don't let it exercise it's earthly task! DA ur like Fitzwilliam Darcy. When will you and Lunar read that which is written in teh stars above?
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › RGallet 7-Jan-03/6:16 PM Reply
Sir,

I am a Gentleman. Lunar is an Old Hagg, whose Presence in Town is always known by the Fearful Stench she emits. No Mayor in the Land would permit our Matrimony, no matter how terrifying an Expression I intimidate him with. No; our love, such as it is, is destined to Failure. Plus, she's totally rough.
[n/a] RGallet › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Jan-03/6:24 PM Reply
WELL SIR I ASK YOU HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN YOUR MONDO BONER THEN? AND WITH THAT I LEAVE U 2 UR THOTS.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › RGallet 7-Jan-03/6:26 PM Reply
It is this blasted cream. The doctor told me it would cure my terrible palsy, but it has not. Indeede, it may not.
[5] wOrnella Mutiw 3-Jan-03/12:33 AM Reply
Creepy...here are some Milano cookies to calm down your anxiety..
[n/a] <~> 7-Jan-03/11:14 PM Reply
"from the brutality of her wounds, detectives knew she ahd fought for her life. and it had been a viscious struggle....once again the crime scene evidence was hand-delivered to the crime lab in washington....this match seemed to scream that the cases were linked."
[10] Ranger › <~> 8-Jan-03/1:01 AM Reply
Indeed it did
[n/a] Another Bobjim?!?! › Ranger 9-Jan-03/4:00 PM Reply
So how about some serious help? Or votes.
[0] dmzoacan › Another Bobjim?!?! 9-Jan-03/9:19 PM Reply
Mikius you've really killed off the sponteneity of this one. 0.
[0] dmzoacan › dmzoacan 9-Jan-03/9:19 PM Reply
I forgot to add this word onto the end of my comment: "Death."
[10] Ranger › dmzoacan 10-Jan-03/1:03 AM Reply
How about resubmitting 'Fox and the Unix user'?
Anyway. I see the anonymous votes have started to hit, so have a ten.
[0] dmzoacan 9-Jan-03/9:21 PM Reply
I mean fucking come on, "flitting from shadow to shadow"? The drama imagery at the ends sucks shit and the only good line in this is "rough" and the two after it don't make any sense. Just fucking start over and make it worthwhile. THINK OF THE POINT FIRST AND GO FROM THERE.
[0] dmzoacan › dmzoacan 9-Jan-03/9:22 PM Reply
Mondo boner lol
[7] Caducus 10-Jan-03/8:57 AM Reply
Four flies on grey velvet -7