Replying to a comment on:
Nightwalker
(
Free verse
) by
Another Bobjim?!?!
He stalks, Flitting, From shadow To shadow, Silently, Moving, Sliding gently Behind her, His victim, Soon, She will know His touch, Cold, And rough, Like the pools Of his eyes, Hard, Until, The final Act, Death.
dmzoacan
9-Jan-03/9:21 PM
I mean fucking come on, "flitting from shadow to shadow"? The drama imagery at the ends sucks shit and the only good line in this is "rough" and the two after it don't make any sense. Just fucking start over and make it worthwhile. THINK OF THE POINT FIRST AND GO FROM THERE.
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