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The Sadistic Mirth (Free verse) by Freethinker1602 The breath of air I breathe
Is drawn in a sharp gasp
And then to exhale is a long
Piercing shriek
That I alone can hear
My life exists in agony
My existance in suffering
And I suffer in desolation
I refuse to move
Refuse to allow myself to heal
It is my hand that causes the pain
I am the murderer I bring
Pain to the innocent
My death would be welcome
To those that have reason to hate
It is my time to seek a
Vengeance so unjust that I
Am marked as an evil force
I am the beast unleashed
Know my pain
Up the ladder:
Lovers leave their marks
Down the ladder:
The world
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Posted: January 1, 2003 9:05 PM PST; Last modified: July 25, 2003 11:45 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.089402 Overall Rank: 6251 Comments:
[8]
Bobjim @ 81.132.42.59
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2-Jan-03/8:28 AM
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Reply
Pian? surely pain. sorry, but it did kinda ruin it. Redo it and you get a 9. as it is, a well deserved 8.
its good but im sure im still into the love poems believe it or not
A good try!
look at the top 15 sometime
Good, untill the last line, which I read as a mistake futhur and thoght it siad 'Know my piano' that woulda been hilarious.
Could you please change it to 'know my piano'? please?
Yawn.
The redeeming part was the "know my pian" bit. Funniest twist ever. All this time I was reading what looked like a Serious and Heartfelt Poeme, but pian was a great satirical twist. Of course if it really is just a typo, that makes you an illiterate fucktard.
Thank you so very much. I changed it. be happy. Unfortunately the word processor doesn't catch every little error
It's just like a MAN to rely on a machine to write his poetry for him. I suppose you'd like the whole of human life to be determined and controlled by machines? People like you would have us constantly strapped to some sort of bionic gurney, receiving nutrients through a futuristic "graviton thermometer" and expelling the unwanted matter into a curious funnel-shaped tube held by the animated slave-robot we call "Newman" (NEW MAN).
You need to get your face out the science textbook and start realising that poetry comes from the HEART. That's why it's called "poetry". Did you know that "HEART" has over two letters in common with "POETRY"? Well you do now. I suggest you think about that one the next time you post one of your chauvinistic, technocratic diatribes.
Perhaps you misunderstood the comment. I try to catch all of my errors before posting, so I run them through word processor. The poems are submitted from a journal that I keep with me at all times. Most of the stuff you read is from the beginning of September. I just try to catch all errors. My futuristic idea of the earth is total annihalation of the human race. Bush will take care of that one for us though...
The only thing you have in life is an ace homepage. The rest you stole from kids on the short bus.
An opera for the bolemic.
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