Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

flight (Free verse) by soccer23
the small, bruised bird cries deep within. thru bars of hate, and perched on sin. she dreams of endless bright blue sky. to breathe, to see, to live, to fly. her beak sewn shut her wings useless inside the cage an ugly mess. but in her heart a song she sings. and hope this song will one day bring. so through the neverending night the tiny bird dreams of taking flight. to places new, and left unseen. because to the small bruised bird its just a dream.

Up the ladder: Give me beer!
Down the ladder: AIDS in a nurse

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 30
.. 20
.. 20
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 20
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 4.8333335
Weighted score: 4.878157
Overall Rank: 10314
Posted: October 16, 2002 6:25 PM PDT; Last modified: October 16, 2002 6:25 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[1] god'swife @ 209.179.137.237 | 16-Oct-02/8:00 PM | Reply
Sweet Jesus, this is bizarre and bad.
[7] loneshadow29 @ 63.80.251.76 | 17-Oct-02/8:38 AM | Reply
interesting read soccer :o)
[6] Quarton @ 12.217.212.111 | 3-Dec-02/3:55 PM | Reply
A sad little poem but I liked it. It does need editing as there is a bit of redundancy and some words that are unnecessary. One example:

Bright blue sky deleted so it reads:

She dreams of endless sky. This is minor but so much better IMO. Bright and blue distract from what is a lovely and meaningful sentence. Good luck.
[6] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 4-Dec-02/4:24 PM | Reply
passe. 6.
[5] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 7-Dec-02/5:09 PM | Reply
soccer 23, soccer 23..i get the feeling you like soccer and your numbers 23.
151 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001