poemranker ::Holy Spirit - A Tanka Poem by amanda_dcosta

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Haiku № 159584

Holy Spirit - A Tanka Poem

by amanda_dcosta

Member since 2005 · Posted 19 Jul 2010 · 3 comments

Lover of my soul Delightful pleasure You bring Everyday I wait Make my spirit rise with You I live to dwell in Your love. Tanka meter: 5-7-5-7-7

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mean 5.67 weighted 5.08 rank 6450 views 129 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

3 comments

[8] Dovina 1-Aug-10/5:44 PM Reply
Englsish tanka does not have to harness itself to 57577, but here you do it without feeling harnessed. The only exception might be that "delight" and "pleasure" are about the same.
[n/a] http://mulberryfairy 29-Aug-10/9:24 PM Reply
I would separate every and day if I were you, because everyday isn't the same as every day, everyday implies boring or commonplace.
[4] nypoet22 16-Sep-10/1:07 AM Reply
i like the form, and the last line. the rest, however, needs work in my view. the adjectives are standard.