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The Last of The Winds (Free verse) by emilyowey
The last of the winds came today. The final push. Tomorrow we’ll hear what they’ve left us. Tomorrow has never been closer. Look to the east and you can almost feel it on your cheek Look to the west, it holds you, Like a bed of fallen leaves. Did you feel the cold? It’s always worse than you remember. I would tell you I made that cold, But you wouldn’t believe me. Not without all the things I will never tell you. The last of the winds came today. The last of the winds has not yet gone. It lingers. A sleep that’s not ready to surrender its hold. A scent left on your shoulder by a heart close to yours. The last of the winds takes a little of you with it. Leaves you empty. Then allows the possibility of fullness.

Up the ladder: All Alone
Down the ladder: scented

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7784
Posted: June 14, 2006 1:17 AM PDT; Last modified: June 14, 2006 1:17 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 66.235.27.131 | 16-Jun-06/7:39 AM | Reply
You've got a great idea here. I'll say what they often say to me. Make it more poetic! Take these thoughts and form the words into pleasing and provocative lines.
[7] ALChemy @ 71.75.188.128 > Dovina | 16-Jun-06/1:02 PM | Reply
"Make it more poetic!"
You threw that one out just in case Zodiac might still be watching didn't you?
[7] ALChemy @ 71.75.188.128 | 16-Jun-06/1:22 PM | Reply
Too much repetition of words and phrases in this one. Makes the poem come off as monotonous.

Let me show you:

The last of the winds came today.
A final push.
Tomorrow we’ll hear what they’ve left us.
It's message never closer.
Look to the east, you can almost feel it on your cheek and to the west it holds you
like a bed of fallen leaves.

Did you feel the cold?
It’s always worse than you remember.
I would tell you I made it that way
but you wouldn’t believe me.
Not without all the things I'll never say.

The last of the winds came today.
They have not yet gone.
It lingers like a sleep
that’s not ready to surrender.
A scent left on your shoulder
by a heart so close to yours.
The last of the winds
takes a little of you with it.
Leaves you empty
and allows the possibility of fullness.
[n/a] emilyowey @ 24.166.6.82 > ALChemy | 16-Jun-06/2:31 PM | Reply
um thanks, but no thanks
[7] ALChemy @ 71.75.188.128 > emilyowey | 16-Jun-06/11:04 PM | Reply
Your welcome, but not welcome.
[6] amanda_dcosta @ 202.164.137.248 | 18-Jun-06/11:07 PM | Reply
Its a nice idea but ends in being an okay-okay poem.
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