ALChemy16 Jun 2006
Too much repetition of words and phrases in this one. Makes the poem come off as monotonous.
Let me show you:
The last of the winds came today.
A final push.
Tomorrow weâll hear what theyâve left us.
It's message never closer.
Look to the east, you can almost feel it on your cheek and to the west it holds you
like a bed of fallen leaves.
Did you feel the cold?
Itâs always worse than you remember.
I would tell you I made it that way
but you wouldnât believe me.
Not without all the things I'll never say.
The last of the winds came today.
They have not yet gone.
It lingers like a sleep
thatâs not ready to surrender.
A scent left on your shoulder
by a heart so close to yours.
The last of the winds
takes a little of you with it.
Leaves you empty
and allows the possibility of fullness.