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Unwanted Return (Free verse) by PawnedTidal Is that you out there?
Surely you wouldn't dare.
After everything you did to me,
Did you think I'd just let it be?
I don't know what you want me to do,
But I know I can't forgive you.
I truly thought you were the one,
But now I know to think that was dumb.
I'd never felt a hurt before,
Like I did when you walked out the door.
And now you're trying to come back in?
Well, I won't make that mistake again.
Up the ladder:
Echoes
Down the ladder:
Wedding Day...
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.785714
Posted: September 9, 2002 8:41 PM PDT; Last modified: September 9, 2002 8:41 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.8433447 Overall Rank: 10618 Comments:
[5]
deleted user @ 66.32.61.3
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11-Sep-02/1:21 AM
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Reply
Good, but the rhymes seem a bit forced. Might do better as freeform or in another, less common rhyme scheme.
I swear I read this the first time when it was called Waking Up. Why don't you just make the one poem? Or maybe that wasn't what it was called, but it was another angry rant. Doesn't feeling hurt suck? Man, dude I feel it. Freakin women. Don't call her though!! Don't!!
not all of us play at that. but i agree with p&k--leave her be. wash her away, and watch out for her clones.
essence of relationships. Well put. Well deserved 8/10
i wont read this again. ever.
This is aweful - not awesome.r
add two lines and this would be a sonnet, maybe it already is??
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