Swan on Willow Lake

by Caducus

Member since 2002 · Posted 12 May 2004 · 4 comments

Sailing upon gold Through reeds which bow before you Jealous blackbirds caw

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4 comments

[6] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 13-May-04/1:17 AM Reply

Stark and haunting words. The image of sailing "upon gold" is truly, sublimely inspired... this will perhaps remain with me for the rest of my life. Wonderful.

-6-

[10] Stephen Robins 13-May-04/5:30 AM Reply

Hilarious, truly; this had me wiping snot of my laptop.

[9] <{Baba^Yaga}> 13-May-04/5:18 PM Reply

Crow In a Stagnant Pond by Frivilous Mediocrity

Oh crow in the mire!
Why won't you float nigger
Oh Black bird in quick sand
If you weren't so black
I'd lend a hand.

[8] richa 17-May-04/11:22 AM Reply

I think this is how a haiku should be written. The first image and then a different image (the blackbirds) linked to the first.

Would leave out jealous though. Haikus are about imagery more than most other forms. Image without need for explanation.