Re: Little Johnie's Jihad by <{Baba^Yaga}>	28-Dec-02/12:45 AM
The only thing that saves this ditty is that it is a lyric. That is the only excuse for it. And in the perspective it is fine, but is it fine enough for Cake?
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Dec-02/6:38 PM
You have obviously been hanging out with GW or this is just a southern California thing..
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Dec-02/7:49 PM
Why is a clear sky "sullen"? What is a "patch of dreams"? What does "With in my hands" mean? Do you mean "within"? Tears "is"? Is it just one tear? The dentures part crack me up and for that I will give you a point and then take it away because of the horrific last line.
Re: me, Deep-as-a-puddle and the elusive connection by lunar	28-Dec-02/11:19 PM
So are you like getting married now. And is this a poem or a journal entry? Do you really need to have a connection with someone to talk about heaven and hell? There is a restaurant down the street from my house. Most likely 50 paces. I bet I could run down there now, sit at the bar, and after a drink just to establish my presence could bring up heaven or hell or god or sex or any other subject without having a connection with the person I brought it up to. It is called conversation with a stranger. Are you like 15 and tied to your hormones, because if so, then forgive me. Everything at that age is so dramatic. It is life without a soundtrack.
Re: Am I Still Here? by Ranger	29-Dec-02/6:45 PM
good god that was a most painful read. Inventive? Are you insane?
Re: Instantly by Quarton	29-Dec-02/7:49 PM
WHERE ARE THE BABY COWS!!!!!!!!
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jan-03/1:01 AM
I feel a Cure song coming on. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, if they build it you won't come.
Re: End of life by kliq	3-Jan-03/1:04 AM
I never looked down at you and I never said any of those things. And I never shot anybody. It is lies, I tell you. Lies.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jan-03/4:42 PM
Are you Vulcan's lover or Blake's pet rock? I see, maybe. Well anyway, you have managed to wander off and are lost in the desert of bad poetry. Find a map, get out, before the water runs dry and the food is gone. Nine out of ten poets agree you missed the point of the number one thing of which nine out of ten poets agree. Ugh. Painful.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jan-03/9:44 PM
Some nice images, but I miss the punctuation.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Jan-03/9:11 AM
I suggest reading, "Possessing the Secret Joy" by Alice Walker. Maybe you should try to simplify the language and not bog it down with adjectives and phrasing that make it sound like a porno poem. Of course, one of the reason for the act has a sexual purpose, and if you somehow brought that into play in a massive rewrite if make be an effective metaphor. But what you have here is a very young attempt.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Jan-03/10:37 PM
"The sky...turns confererate." Nice line.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Jan-03/10:44 PM
Why did you 1) misspell dissent and 2) capitalize it? You do not need a comma in the last line. A heartstring is one word even if there is more than one. Maybe you should "hope" rather than "hoped" to keep things straight. Other than that, I am not fond of the poem at all, but good try. Keep up the effort.
Re: Rose Wall by Carvaceous	12-Jan-03/10:46 PM
Sounds like a poem written in high school at best. But good try.
Re: a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub	12-Jan-03/10:48 PM
Yes, you were drunk. And it shows.
Re: A Fathers Loss by Lanman427	12-Jan-03/10:53 PM
Sincerity gets you everything. Cannot not say too much about the craft here, but the sentiment is in the right place. It is just trying to find images to go with it. Maybe try to go back in to the lines and think about what you are saying and maybe try to create and image or a metaphor to convey those feelings. But on it's own, it is sweet at best.
Re: Meditation 01 by Blue Magpie	12-Jan-03/10:55 PM
I want pictures.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Jan-03/11:00 PM
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. More heavy-handed nonsense. Do you think about what you write? The phrasings are infantile. Goth poetry. Do you read Stan Rice? Ann Rice? Ben Rice? You fall victim to telling way too much, and when you do pop out an image it barely makes sense. There is symbolism and then there is just gibberish. You have perfected the latter here.
Re: Ode to the inafamous dark angel by Lucifer	12-Jan-03/11:14 PM
I think you should draw up a petition and gather up enough signatures to send along to Nentwhistle. Only then can we get DA off this site once and for all and stop him from hurting everyone's feelings. He has hurt mine so many times I cannot even begin to tell you. Okay, well, just one. It was late at night. I think it was Saturday and I had been drinking a little but not enough to where I was anything more than tipsy. And I had been working on this poem about my dear dead mother for 40 days and 40 nights. I even went out into the desolate dirty sands of Death Valley to conjure her spirit as a muse. You know, Electra complex. But in this case you could call it some form of ghostly...well, you get my point. So, anyway, I finally finished it. And I was so proud I called all my peeps and read it over the phone. It was 4am, mind you, but that was not an issue. THEY understood. And THEY loved it. Every word. I believe I made two peeps cry and that never happens, not in my neighborhood here on the mean streets of Misery. So I finally got up the courage to post it . And no more than two minutes past before that ominous blue 0 appeared. Then another, and another. And then a green one. And then another blue one. It was awful. DA may not vote for real, but he/she is the master of the blue vote. And then he/she left a comment saying my poems had -=aids=- or something and that as it read it made him feel like breaking wind and pooing and eating it!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Oh THE HORROR. I cried. I called the police. SLANDER, I cried. We must stop him. Let's ban together at once. Put the fangs in; dress in black. It is the only way. We must whine, cry, bitch, and moan three times more than we are already doing. It is the only way. The only way.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Jan-03/10:24 PM
You should go away and menstruate more often. And put my poem back up. I do not have a copy. I need a memory of our fling.