Re: a comment on Leaving the Woods House by zodiac	27-Aug-05/7:06 PM
You're missing her in white cotton panties if that's how you remember her. The moment is different now, lonlier, and that makes the event different. Some say it's the same event painted lonely, but I'd write it as an actual change in history.
Re: a comment on Quietus Proprietus by INTRANSIT	24-Aug-05/9:15 PM
And your classy-dressed superwoman was probably run down because some guy twisted his neck.
Re: a comment on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina	24-Aug-05/9:12 PM
Hey, that's great. How about a spaghetti-strap top with a crinkle-skirt, just below the knee, so popular in Paris these days?
Re: a comment on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina	24-Aug-05/9:09 PM
Who cares what he thinks? Who cares what he thinks!!!? Are you not listening to all the times I've harped at you? I care! You man, you. Oh, I see, you're one of those guy who says he looks past the clothes, so they don't matter. Well, at least allow me the fantasy.
Re: a comment on Quietus Proprietus by INTRANSIT	24-Aug-05/3:24 PM
You hope right, but she looks enviable before that.
Re: a comment on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina	24-Aug-05/3:22 PM
My job is done here.
Re: Quietus Proprietus by INTRANSIT	24-Aug-05/3:17 PM
Funny, we each posted a womens-clothing poem at almost the same time, yours with a sadness, mine with a hope. I like yours a lot, maybe a little jealous of her.
Re: a comment on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina	24-Aug-05/3:12 PM
Hold that thought, and try it again, please - revised.
Re: Crisscrossing My Mind by woodstock20000	24-Aug-05/2:45 PM
"I lept to love you" - good. But some of of it is not stated very well. Example: "make the world accept you." - impossible, isn't it.
Re: Art serves a Purpose by i_am_the_popsicle	24-Aug-05/2:38 PM
Leave out the parts that tell us what we think - "We all have." "you enjoy it." Your idea is good, but look at the grammar, and be a little slyer (is that a word?) in how you say it.
Re: a comment on Leaving the Woods House by zodiac	24-Aug-05/8:42 AM
re: "each moment, a thing is new and discrete from the thing it was a moment before, so you can leave anything." It didn't come to me that way in the poem. It was more like "one moment ends and another begins." When your narrator says, "It's easy enough to leave a thing. You tell yourself the thing you love is gone," I take it as a simple form of rationalizing that's bound to fail. Your narrator seems almost too simple-minded to be believable.
Re: a comment on How Angels Sleep by Dovina	24-Aug-05/8:19 AM
re: “Not to drag this on any further” Fine. But dressed as an angel, you might understand.
Re: a comment on Pity Her by Dovina	24-Aug-05/8:12 AM
I've already cranked, and another one came out. I appreciate your concern.
Re: a comment on Pity Her by Dovina	24-Aug-05/8:11 AM
Least of the lesser, lowest in the lowerarchy, crudest of the crude.
Re: The Big Stupid Dink :) :) by Bethy	23-Aug-05/3:50 PM
When you say ":) :)" in the title, I wonder if it's tongue-in-cheek. As I read, I think not. Maybe :-( And "Stupid" means something like "Arogant" Shave your legs, girl, put on a dress, and have a drink. That's what I do.
Re: Letter from Palermo by Caducus	23-Aug-05/12:22 PM
I like the somber rhythm. Wish you'd spell out linoleum.
Re: Leaving the Woods House by zodiac	23-Aug-05/7:47 AM
I hate the restrictions of the sonnet form. But I guess if you give up the stricter Shakespearean ties, then its much easier. I think "we" would be better in "You let it go" to keep it personal. You could drop "ours" in "and then it wasn't ours" What are tenterhooks? The colons distract. Periods would be better. I would make the sex more tender in keeping with the nostalgia of the occasion.
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	23-Aug-05/7:37 AM
Be careful! He could hit you with wisdom like, "Yes, but have you ever noticed that I'm an atheist and I can spell right correctly, while, whatever you believe, you can't?"
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	23-Aug-05/7:33 AM
Then you have at least one belief.
Re: a comment on How Angels Sleep by Dovina	23-Aug-05/7:28 AM
re “nor”: I see your point about the wording and agree that yours is clearer. But I want to stress that she has an emotion (feeling) concerning the hand below her rib, not just a physical feeling. The angel might understand the physical feeling, but not the emotion. The poem is whimsical and non-doctrinal, as we have both said. So why are you bring the Bible into it? The last verse is a metaphor for a man, and the whole poem could be interpreted that way. Since I’ve used the plural, angels, throughout the poem, it seems fair to say in the last verse that one particular angel (or man) is different from the others. Therefore the man/angel has not changed his nature. Maybe I could make that more clear. Thanks for your comments.