Re: Stuffy by horus8	25-Jun-04/9:31 PM
Except for a few spelling errors, this is cute.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Jun-04/8:08 AM
I'm very tired after reading this. Love "singular audience of its intoxicant play." "lungs" might better be "thoughts" comma after "earth" What is arenation?
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Jun-04/8:17 AM
If you really mean this, then you'd better take a hard look at this relationship. Is he wise because of words of affirmation? One line does seem true: "fantasies saturating my head." A 6 for heartfelt infatuation.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Jun-04/8:25 AM
What a narrow ledge we walk. A life on one side, his attention on the other, wanting both. If I were doing what you're doing, and I have, I'd be better off if someone said, "Get off your butt."
Re: Origins by Doug	26-Jun-04/3:49 PM
Verses 1&2 are what marriage of an experienced couple is. I like it a lot, can laugh with it. Christ seems extra though. When they conceive a subtle light and give birth to charisma, I'm guessing, but there's chemistry in the now and was.
Re: Desert Rain by donmiguel1960	26-Jun-04/3:58 PM
The rare rain is a good metaphor for something, and nicely described, but I'm loseing what it is. And who is Miguel Antonio Francis?
Re: A story of recognition by DeadtotheWorld	26-Jun-04/4:28 PM
In spite of a dozen or more spelling and grammar problems, I think I got the point.
Re: your best friend by New Life Drug	28-Jun-04/7:43 AM
Missing someone. Not very well told.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jun-04/7:45 AM
What message does it impart? Weak.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jun-04/7:48 AM
I like the last line and wish all of the lines pointed to it. Most of them do, but not all.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jun-04/7:50 AM
Too much rhyme, not enough content.
Re: Break by Torok	28-Jun-04/7:53 AM
Just a preachy thing that doesn't get at any of the problems you say "we" must solve.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jun-04/8:02 AM
I like the "fragrances triggered by sounds" verse. I don't know if these are things found written in the margin a a Bible or if the blades of grass and flowers are foung pressed there. Still, I like the touch of my eyes upon these words
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jun-04/2:03 PM
I think the message would be clearer if you scratch these lines: If fat is strong and strong undesirable. Why lose your chest to show wasting legs? She intimidates small men. Line 3: "she envies girls" But it might be better using "you" all the way through.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jun-04/9:02 AM
Great picture of growing up in the inner city.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jun-04/9:05 AM
I seems like a good start of something.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jun-04/9:16 AM
Yes, on singing your heart out. Like the irony of fools doing it too, or only, who cares. Nice.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jun-04/1:29 PM
"Mr Bloom walked unheeded along his grove by saddened angels, crosses, broken pillars, family vaults, stone hopes praying with upcast eyes, old Ireland's hearts and hands. More sensible to spend the money on some charity for the living." There, a piece of Joyce is read, probably enough. I'll start on the bathroom light, then sort by author. By the time you're back from the hospital, we'll be nearly done.
Re: Little Girl by hbhpoems	29-Jun-04/4:01 PM
This is good, except for telling her what to do in the last two lines.
Re: The Weaver's Curse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	29-Jun-04/4:23 PM
The Mother's Curse A noise in the dark I tremble in sheer terror - An escaped son?