Re: May 10, 2004 by Patsy	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.25.22	13-Jun-05/12:49 AM
Misery is a woman. Ha! nice.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dental Panic 84.31.86.195	13-Jun-05/4:10 AM
I like the flow of it. There is bit of Maxi Jazz in it. This is my curse.
Re: May 10, 2004 by Patsy	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	13-Jun-05/4:40 AM
Written down a bit too impulsively, but what you wrote down is most effective. I like this one a lot.
Re: I want you by nicole081083	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	13-Jun-05/5:01 AM
Amazing that a poem titled 'I want you' generates 13 hits within six hour. I clearly gave mine the wrong title and failed miserably on 'recognisability' as well..
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.166.37.185	13-Jun-05/6:31 AM
m a s t u r b a t o r
Re: Perfect place by gothiclovepoetiss	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	13-Jun-05/6:55 AM
Not very goth...try rewriting it with different words..and a different theme...and change the title...that would make it better in my opinion.
Re: I want you by nicole081083	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	13-Jun-05/6:57 AM
Write this from the point of view of a Rwandan refugee and you've got something.
Re: A Hallmark Card for You (With Love) by Bluemonkey	some deleted user 71.103.92.158	13-Jun-05/9:15 AM
I once read a card that carried the message: Everyone thinks you're an asshole. I think there was a picture of a hissing kitty on the front. It was a long time ago.
Re: May 10, 2004 by Patsy	some deleted user 71.103.92.158	13-Jun-05/9:29 AM
The last quatrain is very good, as is the final line. The first quatrain's a bit confusing, It feels like an inside joke. I wish it was more accessible to me. Nice images.
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 71.103.92.158	13-Jun-05/9:31 AM
Nice and tight.
Re: A Hallmark Card for You (With Love) by Bluemonkey	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.25.22	13-Jun-05/11:45 AM
I confess.
regarding some deleted poem...	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.25.22	13-Jun-05/11:58 AM
seems deeply personal. some stuff didn't leave any images in my head. It could be me; probably is me. Here they are anyway: "Died daily from devils in playgrounds" "Half read books became leaves." "bastard of childhood" Not really criticisms...just lines that I had to stop on and think about to no conclusion.
Re: Emotionally Unavailable by horus8	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.25.22	13-Jun-05/1:02 PM
I haven't got the words.
Re: Zodiac's Visit to Micky D's by Oej-Oej	windyone 63.245.189.144	13-Jun-05/1:27 PM
LOL!
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.166.37.185	13-Jun-05/1:46 PM
good and funny
Re: Emotionally Unavailable by horus8	darby pyn 207.200.116.130	13-Jun-05/2:08 PM
you naked/ me vacum cleaner. priceless. entertaining as usual. 8
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.166.37.185	13-Jun-05/2:29 PM
Maybe I am getting punchy from all the bad stuff, but this beats all so far!
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.166.37.185	13-Jun-05/3:04 PM
I feared you had lost it for a while, but this is a fine poem. I enjoyed reading most of your stuff. Some got a bit boring, but, this site does not actually invite excellence with open arms, rather the reverse.
Re: -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.185	13-Jun-05/3:23 PM
The last verse is better now, but look at the grammar and spelling. desecration abound (number disagreement) There are more bodies (There are - not needed) snapping THIER necks.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 69.175.32.185	13-Jun-05/3:32 PM
It's a touching story, especially the last verse. The first verse is hard to decipher.