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Perfect place (Limerick) by gothiclovepoetiss
Suddenly my world it such a perfect place, only because of your loving grace. All at once I see in a new light, everything is so clear, so bright. As long as you’re here by my side, and our hands intertwine. Oh and when you kiss my lips, my heart skips beats and does flips. When you stare into my eyes, I see the perfect starry skies. I see windows to you soul and doors to your heart, in this I know we will never be apart. I listen to your heart beats, I hear what it says, I know what it speaks. It speaks of love, passion, and care, this wanting feeling I can’t just bare. Do you see why my soul can fly? And the knowing that you’ll never say good-bye. There will never be lasting sorrow, just in knowing that there will be a tomorrow. With you here next to me, with our souls being free. Abiding this beautiful feeling, We are gliding, no flying. As long as my arms are rapped around you, I’ll never be sad or blue. All because I’ll always love you, and in knowing that you love me too. So do you see why my world is such a perfect place? I know it every time you kiss me, look into my eyes, or even softly touch my face.

Down the ladder: The Cherub Bird's Love Song

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Arithmetic Mean: 0.5
Weighted score: 4.7865834
Overall Rank: 11284
Posted: June 10, 2005 5:42 PM PDT; Last modified: June 10, 2005 5:42 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] gothiclovepoetiss @ 172.129.77.227 | 10-Jun-05/5:54 PM | Reply
i hope you like this poem, but please critize and be blunt if you feel it is nessessary. thanks
[n/a] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 11-Jun-05/4:53 AM | Reply
>>Oh and when you kiss my lips,
my heart skips beats and does flips.<<

'Oh' as in 'oh, by the way'?
Delete 'and'
The second line reads bad. Delete 'does'.

The horrible thing is that this physical phenomenon is exactly what occurs, when you're in luvv. Except when you're over 21, you'll think you're heading for a coronary.
The more horrible thing is that this has been written a zillion times over, mostly by lovesick 14 year old girls...I don't blame you your age and state of luvv but it's so boring, this way.

>>As long as my arms are RAPPED around you,
I’ll never be sad or blue.<<
Your poor sweetheart must be; black&blue...

[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.31 | 11-Jun-05/11:55 PM | Reply
Basically this is one big cliche, some regular rhythm would have helped a little. I think in the first line you meant to say, 'is' such a lovely place.
[n/a] Dental Panic @ 84.31.86.195 | 12-Jun-05/4:16 AM | Reply
Strangest limerick I've ever read. Pretty dull poem, though.
[n/a] Bluemonkey @ 170.141.68.99 | 13-Jun-05/6:55 AM | Reply
Not very goth...try rewriting it with different words..and a different theme...and change the title...that would make it better in my opinion.
[1] Edna Sweetlove @ 81.178.117.218 | 15-May-06/4:58 PM | Reply
Not a limerick.
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