Turn your torment to a torrent and cry me a river With such a power title you promised what you failed to deliver

What? Where do you live? Families are fariy tales lady. Ok it's not really that bad but you're sugar coating makes me gag. Really now some families are like that but some are like the ones where the neigbor kid comes over to make sure the kid gets fed because the parents are too strung out to do it themselves and then the parents make the neighbor kid do things a nine year old shouldn't even know about. Others are like the one where the kid goes off to college and the parents move and don't bother telling the kid. Then you have the ones were the dad is long gone, the mother is just barely done giving birth and the baby is in a dumpster.

A poem about people does nothing but a pile of mud is percious enough to be compared to rape?

Hair tends to help some be strong? You must be referring to Samson - the kindly Biblical character who lost his strength when he shaved his head but then prayed to Jesu so he could get it back again and crush a load of people with a building. But the next two lines are sublimely beautiful: When you walk it moves like a ping pong, It could hit others like King Kong, These are the best two lines I have ever read on poemeranker. They capture the essence of hair so succinctly. -10-

It is a well know literary phenomenon that infinitely many people have rhymed "love" with "above", but I've never seen anyone attempt to do it twice in one poeme. This really is such an emotional piece, with an emotion nestling not only on each line, but between each line as well. I'm not an expert on poetry, but when a piece like this is so full of joy, love, pain, emotions, tenderness, hope, fear and wonder, I cannot help but give you a -10-. Thanks.

I can't believe it! It's amazing that you mention a special crown for good families, because in my town that's exactly what we have! Every year, the mayor selects five outstanding families from the town and awards them the Family Prize for friendship, love and courage. This year my family was one of the five! We don't get a crown exactly, but we do get a special medal that we're allowed to wear on special occassions. I guess it's kinda similar to your crown idea! I love my family. -10-

Chillingly delightful! I especially enjoyed the whimsical spasm of joy I underwent upon reading "Knowing that you don't live in an ark". Of course, the price is another four hours of unimaginable agony as my crippled body jerks back and forth within my cruel Wheeled-chair of its own volition, but I daresay it's worth it! 10!!

[_] AABB rhyming scheme [_] About drugs [X] About romantic love [_] About writing [X] About suicide or self-mutilation [_] About the author's social pastimes [_] Arbitrary indentation [X] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but written in the third person [_] Clerical errors [X] Clichéd imagery (gazing out of window, tears falling like rain) [_] Clichéd rhymes (love/above, heart/apart) [X] Clichéd angst words (putrid, wretched) [X] Devoid of rhyme [X] Devoid of other linguistic embellishments (alliteration, onomatopoeia) [_] Devoid of other literary devices (simile, synaesthesia) [_] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery [_] Ellipses used overabundantly [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Internet shorthand or emoticons [_] Leaving rant [_] Lower case only [_] 'Lyrics' [X] Melodramatic [X] Naively religious or superstitious [_] Obsessed with femininity [_] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Rage against the machine [X] Repetition of a word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimonious [X] Self-obsessed [X] Sentimental [_] Smugly-named protagonist [X] Thesaurophilia [_] Untitled [X] Vicarious wish fulfilment -14-

Splendid!

I am the master of sonnets. No one else is allowed to write them.

I always thought that poetry was wet and only for squares. I also thought that it couldn't be relevant to the youth of today. However, then I saw that you had used the phrase "mother fucker" at the end of your poem, and I realised just how wrong I had been. This really hit me hard.

I think it's a good job you copyrighted this poem, in case any poetry tycoons try to steal your work. -10-

first verse: 10 Second verse: 0 Average: 5

You have a very distinctive and individual style, which I like. I think you may enjoy some of my work (although it is sometimes misunderstood).

this totally cracked me up. though i don't exactly understand the second verse. i mean, usually it's the guys who bail, right?

in your search for perfection, you have coded out existence; congratulations.

great poem, keep up the good work :)

good poem, i would have chosen less colourful words for the last line, but thats just me

may i suggest something? you can't assume someone is in heaven, not at all, all we can say is we hope they are and keep praying for them. good poem though 10

SEE now that's a SONNET! I knew you could do it.