-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on An Angel by broken_wing11
18 Feb 2004, 11:55 AM
POEMERANKER ALERT: USER HAS RHYMED 'love' WITH 'above'. ABORT ABORT ABO..... gggggfffpppt* -10-
People who say they love you and won't let their love leave as they please, doesn't love you they only love the fact of having someone around. They love being able to have someone and they really don't care who it is. If someone really loves someone then they wouldn't hold someone in a place they don't want to be. But the part I never understand is if they love each other then why would the one leave without the other. Maybe the one that wants to leave on longer love the one holding them there. Why should they love someone forcing them to live through hell? If someone truilly loved another then they would let that one go evening if that ment they had to spend the rest of their life tring to get over that one they loved, because when you love someone it's not about what you want it's about what's best for the one you love. I don't think just letting go would be the best, but if you could go together because a life without love and happiness isn't alife at all. I know because I spent my whole life without either of them then I found them. It was wonderful at first, but then she needed to get away from the place she lived her whole live. I let her go, because I felt her pain knowing all about her childhood and go through shit myself as a child. But there isn't a day that doesn't by that wish I didn't go with her.
Angel (Free verse) by Butterfly1120
She to me is an angel.
One sent from up above.
Here to give, and not recieve,
someone with so much love.
The meaning of Love (Free verse) by The Slender Blade
What is this?
An angel in heaven?
No, this is love,
From the skies above.
Child of my Buttocks (Lyric) by -=Dark_Angel=-
For Jesu's legendary scorn
Is pitiful, and flawed by Love.
The greatest anguish from Above
Song For My Soulmate (Lyric) by John K
Have you ever seen to people madly in love?
They've been given a gift from their God above.
Forbidden Love (Ode) by crystal lane swift
I know He is watching from above,
Is our moment all a dream?
Why must this be a forbidden love?
Am I Good Enough? (Free verse) by crystal lane swift
I want nothing more than for you to return my love.
I write pretty lines for you about the heavens above.
An Angel (Lyric) by broken_wing11
An angel walked thru the gates today
Into His heavens up above
An angel has been blessed
She left us with her love
A.E.G. (Free verse) by nowhereman
How can you say you feel no love
for me, I hold you so high above
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
18 Feb 2004, 4:08 PM
Barf-bag stupid.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
18 Feb 2004, 4:11 PM
Does your title stand for Anusly Egregious Garbage?
I wash my hair at the Spring of Urine too.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
18 Feb 2004, 4:15 PM
Not your best jerk.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
18 Feb 2004, 4:16 PM
Charmingly void of humanity.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
18 Feb 2004, 4:16 PM
Charmingly void of humanity.
Your bum is insane.
But the swollen knee,
He's Jesu.
You speak of freedom as if 'twere free. But a butler's freedom comes at a terrible price. Observe...
Free by -=Dark_Angel=-
Lurking in your master's study
Straining with your cheeks so ruddy
Bulging with a swollen prize
Laughing as your master cries
Wearing not your special diaper
Taking off your auto-wiper
Knowing well your bow'ls are naughty
Leaking past the age of forty
Breaking stool upon a chair
Caring not if people stare
Reaching for another wipe
Soiling it with one foul swipe
Smiling bum is not yet done
Bulging with another one
Dumping it upon the floor
Cleaning up - your final chore
Shov'ling stools into a cart
Wailing not as they depart
Coiling more whene'er you please
Balming them with ev'ry squeeze
Feeling separate from the world
Knowing that you've over-curled
Swimming in a land of cack
How wonderful to just get back!
Very sad. Rest assured you will get over this, and the three I'm giving it (as I will mine).
I like the thinking behind this.
it is uplifting.
WEll, I like this:
"My sober mind an empty cup,
and now I drink to fill it up."
yes, some of the rhymes are, ah - easy. But somehow it retains a spark of ingenuity.
I was really hoping this would go someplace other than back to the beginning.
It shows some promise - I suggest you try and wrap it up somehow.
As it sits, its a seven in my mind, tops. could easily be more.
Quite cute. The last verse goes backwards though. I thought trouble was brewing. Then you tell us you are going to cut off ties - doesn't really follow.
I think the last verse is okay, but it shouldn't be the last. Switch it with the third.
GOOGLE CLICHE CHECK:
"trying to get over you" (2,810 hits)
"I'll spend the rest of my life doing the same thing" (8)
"Everywhere I look I see your eyes" (603)
walking toward something that gets farther away (12)
"you'll never understand the pain" (322)
you're so close, but I can never reach out and hold you (128)
"Why can't I forget your ____" (9) + "your lovely voice" (462)
"telling me it's through" (140)
"I lay down my head" (716)
"Your face... haunting me" (4,970)
"Making... dream into... nightmare" (25)
"you sleeping beside me" (66)
"to live another day of emptiness" (204)
"Even though I try to forget you" (193)
"Why are you haunting me?" (359)
"Even if it's only in my head" (87)
<<<TABULATOR'S NOTE: some cliches altered slightly for variations in grammar and spelling; this check is by no means scientific>>>
I like this one.
am I interpreting correctly that it is in quotes up to "But"?