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Poe ét tri (Other) by Blue Magpie
In a forest far from here, in a woodland damp and drear
wandered one man lost and lonely with no other spirit near,
and he pondered as he wandered; âWhat is darker love or fear?â
So he travelled without care, moving onward unaware,
âtil he saw, in secret, hiding, in his heart, the beast despair,
and he asked it, hoping blindly; âWhat is there in life thatâs fair?â
From itâs shadows quick and seer, flew foul my echoes to his ear,
and unholy lights delighted in presenting visions queer,
but they could not face the question; âWhat is darker love or fear?â
Slowly passed he from its lair, but in leaving found nowhere,
that he could, in goodness counting, wish with other souls to share,
and the forest echoed round him; âWhat is there in life thatâs fair?â
Struggling, for no way seemed near, still he strove a path to clear
and he mumbled as he stumbled, should an angel chance to hear
of a pathway he could follow; âWhat is darker love or fear?â
With his soul in this repair, asked he upwardly in prayer,
of the Lord he still adored, "Is there a spirit whoâll declare
an answer to this question dire?'; âWhat is there in life thatâs
fair?â
âThough he listened long to hear, nothing heard he to give cheer
just the trees in silence sleeping whisper with a wicked leer
to the shattered light around him; What is darker love or fear?
In a forest far from here, in a woodland damp and drear
wanders one man lost and lonely with no other spirit near
and he ponders as he wanders; What is darker love or fear?
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.25
Weighted score: 4.910598
Overall Rank: 9595
Posted: February 17, 2004 10:56 PM PST; Last modified: February 17, 2004 10:56 PM PST
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Comments:
198 view(s)
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It shows some promise - I suggest you try and wrap it up somehow.
As it sits, its a seven in my mind, tops. could easily be more.
Note also seer should be sear, and there should be no semicolon in S5
Climbing up a rocky stair to a hill top dry and bare,
in the misty morningâs music rested he a moment rare,
and in sleeping quietly muttered; âWhat is there in life thatâs fair?â
Dreaming deeply âtil a seer with a light both pure and clear,
showed him beauty boldly beating in the loves he held most dear,
knew he then how life was fair, how darkness only was his fear
and with life lightly returning shed in joy a perfect tear.
Also I think I'll change the title "Inner Forest"