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Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199
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2-Mar-04/4:37 AM
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I would like to suggest that lord of the Rings did not merit 11 Oscars. Indeed, anyone whom has sat through the 44 hour ordeal ,which is the film, and survived without a severe condition of numbarse, is a better man than I.
Replies:
Quite, how could it get as many oscars as the classic titanic!?
At least the films are shorter than the bloody book.
That all depends did it take you three years to get to the end of the book?
Total length of films: approximately 10 hours. Total time it would take to read book: much, much longer.
I once began the novel, but realised it was a load of bullshit after a little while. I have seen the first two films, and they were bloody awful.
What about the animated film which lasts about 1hr 45mins. It is also turd however it enables you to get a much better idea for the story Sam dosesn't spend the whole film shouting "Mr frodo sir, frodo, frodo, frodo!!!" I believe I have lost 27 minutes of my life watching hobbits smile at eachother, and a further 36 minutes watching Frodo dancing. And of course Gandalf can fuck right off with his benevolent countenance peering at the little hobbits (12 minutes).
MMmmmmmmm Gandalf and Rockmage two cunts from the same pod?
You might consider making a game out of it, like this: every time there is a strong homoerotic subtext between Frodo and Samwise, you get to fist the person of your choice. Taking turns helps to ensure that each particpant gets an equal fisting. Other insertions can be assigned to the film's various homosexual qualities, including but not limited to: Aragorn singing in the extended edition; any appearance by that queer blonde elf from the wood-elves; Orlando Bloom doing almost anything. Or you can make up your own.
I would probably have to split a ringpiece everytime Frodo defended his gay love interest Gollum from a jealous Sam. And of course everytime the elf and the dwarf flirt with eachother about killing things would invlve a bit of colon rummaging. Moreover, I would probably distend a hoop or two over the incestous relationship between Bilbo and Frodo those champions of gay hobbishness.
Aragorn sings in the extended version? I'm beginning to suspect that hollywood is fine tuning their awful creation to add further torture for POW's captured by the US Military. That or they are in league with the anti-christ, using the film as a medium to spread subliminal messages to promote homosexuality in our society, and in time the entire planet via subtitles and dubbing; thus adding to the anti-christs power with a world-wide rise in sinful gayness.
Then again, theres reason to suspect that the "Queer eye for the straight guy" faggots are behind this aswell. Perhaps Osama Bin Laden is behind it all, hidden in New York and driving a taxi, beardless with his skull donning an "I LUV NY" baseball cap. I propose we counter this by advertising the pleasures of straight sex and glorifing promiscuous sex between males and females. [and making condoms/contraceptives/abortion free and widely available... PS: I am the anti-christs left hand man.]
I think you mean, "faggots are behind this [ie, my] asswell."
There is more to this than your cursed asswell.. Thing one couldn't imagine, THINGS THAT NOT EVEN GANDALF THE GAYBEARD CAN POSSIBLY DREAM OF COMPREHENDING!!!
Can't you see that the anti-christ has come to begin the end of the world with american family home entertainment????? AND CAPITALIST CENTURY 21 THEATERS CORRUPTED BY GREED AND WEINER ROASTS!?!?! And that is only the beginning... our situation is dire indeed.. and I predict that Jesus will be sleeping as our doom befalls us.. we must pray.
--Brought to you by: Lucifer Works for Galatic Catholic Imperialism [a starting front for his sons empire of sin and desolation and all that good stuff'n special FX!!]
Yesterday on NPR (the best radio station ever!!!) the show Fresh Air (the third-best radio program ever, after BBC World Service morning cricket coverage & BBC novel excepts by John LeCarre!!!) interviewed the author of those sick Left Behind books on whether he thought we were really living in the End Times (he said yes,) and this other guy on the enormous effect of those books on the modern Christian consciousness. My theory: Mel Gibson, George Bush, and Crystal Lane Swift are all avid readers.
Secondly - You moron! The Antichrist isn't going to advertise his evilness(e)! Everyone's going to think he's fuckin Jesus and Saturday-Night-Fever-era John Travolta rolled up into one! I'm not even Christian (tho I was raised Papist), but I know that much. My other theory: that Mel Gibson, George Bush, CLS, and Creed are going to go for him big-time. I'll bet you $50 (4 quid and a ha'penny for you Brits) on it.
Actually, the anti-christ himself has informed me that he'd rather become a Pope before informing the world of his diabolical family relation to God. [A distant cousine to Jesus infact, the little issue of his great-great-great Grand Daddy being disowned a few hundred years ago will be a mere trifle after donning that silly pope's conehat.]
But you're probably right about Mel, George, CLS, and Creed inevitably becoming attracted to the Dark Lord in ways that defy the laws of nature and goodness. Also, there is no need to call me a moron.. since a large portion of the debate is based on religion, christianity to be exact.. we are both shameless dim-wits, no matter how you look at it. So lets rejoice in our evident retardation! MAY THE DARK ONE GIVE US STRENGTH!! |