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A truly excellent idea, modesty prevents me putting more than one of my own excellent rants:
Mysterious Dave: Sir Manning's new verse is fantastic, It's lyrical, raw and scholastic, I just think it's swell, But in case you can't tell I'm actually being sarcastic. Me on Dovina: A man that would understand what the hell your forever parping on about! For god sake set your sights a little more realistically, try a man who doesn't run away whilst throwing up when you lurch into the room like a floundering minky. Fraser Allonby QC on my appalling spelling: You say: "My most sophisticated rythm yet" ... Did you mean: (a) "My most sophisticated rhyme yet"; or (b) "My most sophisticated rhythm yet"; or (c) "My moist sofa fisted Katy dead, Writham-Yett". If the latter, please identify the said Mr or Ms Writham-Yett. And to Damiens for the title of worst comebacks: Dont try and get metaphorical, you came here to offend. YOU MEAN NOTHING TO MY LIFE. F*ckoff Goad you stupid fu*king idiot. GET A LIFE GET A LIFE GET A LIFE
Don't be modest. In any case, I want to use "My moist sofa-fisted Katy dead, Writham-Yett" as every username I have anywhere online.
Damien's is quite terrible, although I wasn't fantastic in those far-gone years of impetuous youth. I think I was 15 when first I joined, now my degree is nearly complete. What a turnaround.
Shouldn't be an hyphen between sofa and fisted. I am a prime dunce.
5 years of poemranker is a long time. You should see how much bigger Farser Allonby is now than he was 5 years ago. He used to be large but when I last met with him for dinner he struggled to get his colossal legs under the table and in the end he was using the table like some form of "weeble" tray to shovel vast quantities of ale pie into his ginger cheeks. I, on the other hand, appear more youthful and excellent each day.
Good grief, do you have to get special doors made for him? I cannot begin to imagine the horrendous cost required to keep his finely tailored silk pantaloons up to size, I do hope Her Majesty's courts of justice are footing the bill for allowing him to get so portly. I say that mainly because I like the word portly. He should spend more time in the tranquility of Wiltshire, I'm prepared to bet that does the trick. I wish I lived there.
Also, did anyone ever work out whether Dave was actually Dark Angel or not?
?-Dave_Mysterious-? has never been a -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. He attended Oxford, and is now an unbelievably appalling Patent Lawyer. I say unbelievably appalling, because he refused to present my plans for an Advanced Weapons System to Her Majesty's Patent Office ( http://tinyurl.com/9auyb ). Rather churlish, don't you think?
Do you think he couod file my patent for this device:
http://tinyurl.com/2yfdzj Essentially it does whatever you tell it to do, with minimumal whippingh and doesn't cost a bean. The only repercussions come to our great great great grandchildren who must apologise for us, but by then I am guessing we won't care. (How delightfully topical)
lol, but what's this: http://tinyurl.com/2ao9bc
Surely no coincidence that Allonby's extension is 666...
P.S. Is Fraser a U2 fan, and married to a gal called Sally?
I have seen the excellent entry on BBC Stoke. Yes - it is the most embarrassing thing on the web (for Fraser).
I hope he disciplined her. It's important to lay down the ground rules in the early stages of marriage. One of them is UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU TELL READERS OF BBC STOKE THAT YOUR SPOUSE WAS *VERY* UPSET AT MISSING A U2 CONCERT IN TWICKENHAM.
"I would like to thank him for being such a great part of my life." How touching.
P.S. I thought You were Fraser, and he was You. In which case: talk about gutted.
No, Fraser is a cunt.
Deloitte hey, competition! your facebook entry is remarkably brief and it appears you have no friends :(
LOLTTM - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=5
This is almost certainly my favourite poemeranker interchange:
edpeterson 68.79.3.67 [10] 5-May-04/2:25 PM Good poem about california toilets, though i am not so sure the subject matter really reflects the title. zodiac 67.240.192.65 5-May-04/2:28 PM Ha ha. Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 [10] 7-May-04/1:08 PM Were you being ironical? zodiac 67.240.155.52 7-May-04/2:03 PM Are you being ironical? Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 [10] 7-May-04/2:38 PM I asked first quim face. zodiac 67.240.155.25 8-May-04/10:50 AM Yes. almost entirely because of 'quim face' which, with your permission, I intend to install as my standard second person reference.
permissions assented.
Could you log in for that, so it's legal please.
Done.
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It has been decreed that we must discover the funniest comment that was not been posted by -=Dark_Angel=- on these beautiful blue screens. The winner will receive the prestige of being unofficially the best comment in all of poemeranker's history.
The first suggestion - a gem from Settle to poetandknowit (on 'Child of my Buttocks'):
-=SeTTle=- 140.186.47.113 [10] 20-Nov-02/6:30 AM
STOP MASTURBATING FOR FIVE SECONDS AND REVISE YOUR POEMS, CUNTY
Let's have some more classics.