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Well why don't you fucking write it if it's such a great idea?
I think you've just written it. How terribly self-reflexive.
I'm not qualified to write it, you jerks.
(I think its a good idea)
It wouldn't eliminate all the dumb comments and mis-cast votes, but I think it could help. Could include some strategy hints, like not submitting all of your four initial poems at once, spreading them over a few days for greater impact. And the pros and cons of revision, when to do it and such. Deleting comments and the effect on trailing comments. How to recognize dual personalities. The meanings of IP's. We have now a bandwagon of two, thanks.
Ditto except for the(5)points thing. Losing points is the price one pays for accepting suggestions and editing. If your poem is that much better than it was prior to the edits then people will vote it up. (8) Just like with spam, the poet should have the ability to ban certain cretins like Z, SR and other unwashed assholes from voting or commenting on his poems.
or her poems.
or its.
or - dammit. fine.
Having invited all of you into my studio to discuss the benefits of a User's Manual, I find so far two supporters, and considerable comment on each other's sexual preferences, which if you wish to incorporate it into the manual, is appropriate here, otherwise may we return to the matter at hand. Thank you.
You say you're not qualified to write it. I'm certainly not. I think anyone has the time and inclination should do so and if it is deemed worthy it will be posted somewhere, and perhaps even emailed to a user upon joining as a welcome letter.
You, of course, are qualified to write it, but I don't blame you for ducking out. I could write a simple version if you want, enough to get the newbees started. The stuff about IP's, dual personalities, and comment deletions, I'd have to leave to someone else. I still don't have these things straight.
It could be a link that a new user sees immediatly when they hit "submit" on the "join" screen. That seems better than email, especially if they submit a phony email address. It could also be a link for anyone to hit at any time if you have room in the header.
I'm good at bowing out. :) I plan on weeding out accounts using phone email addresses "soon", as I'm writing a bounce detector for another site. :/ Also need to figure out some crap with AOL.
Dovina, you are a newbee, a pretentious newbee, but a newbee nonetheless.
You're basically talking about taking all the charm out of poemranker. It's like approaching your lover with a copy of 'The Joy of Sex' and then refering to it every five minutes for pointers.
I know you, you're that girl in 6th grade who everybody hated, including the teacher, because you always had your hand up for every question and whenever you were called upon you gave the wrong answer. You're tragically self-involved.
Yes, I am tragically selfish.
No. 20 is good. What's with the rest? Some things I'm simply too dim to understand.
See I couldn't even get logged in. I'm Dovina, the dim one.
Darn, I couldn't even get this to go below god'swife's comment.
Can someone tell my how to use this thing.
That depends. What are you using it for?
I have some little rhimy things I want the whole world to see.
Get a publisher, and for God's sake don't make the mistake of thinking posting them here will get you anywhere. Poemranker is the 9th level of Hell, get out while you can.
Alright, am I really that bad?
Refer to rule number 16. You are simply fair game in these happy hunting grounds, and for some undefinable reason a have a nose for your blood. Again, refer to rule number 16.
Okay on rule 16, but why the nose for my blood? Don't say it's undefinable.
With all sincerity, I have no idea. Perhaps it's your fermones(sp)?
If I had to say something inaccurate I suppose I could say you just seem overly self-assured (there's the pot calling the kettle black!) not haughty but just -I don't know- vaguely superior. I always picture you around the age of 11 wearing a blue and black plaid party dress, with a black satin sash around the waist tied in a bow at the back, the skirt of which is poofed out by a white stiff pettycoat. Your Mary Janes are patent-leather and spotless, as are your frilly cotton ankle socks. You're head is covered in severe brunette curls that you make sure always bounce when you play hop-scotch on the playground (you cheat at hop-scotch by the way, and you steal things). You bring you're prized standard poodle to show and tell, he growls at you for no apparent reason. Dispite all your apparent perfection, you are always encircled by the faintest smell of mildew. Basically your Lucy of Peanuts fame. Does that remove any veils?
Wow! How could you come up with so much about me from the presence Iâve shown here on Poemranker? Much of your description is flattering, and paints a much prettier woman than I am, certainly more petite and feminine. Of course Iâm older than 11, but youâre using a younger persona for a reason. Actually, I like dogs and animals in general, and they usually do not growl when I pat them and when I donât. I cheat sometimes, a little income tax tinkering and the like. Stealing? â seldom. The thing that stands out is âapparent perfection.â â far from the truth, unless you mean a prudish kind of perfection, which Iâve been accused of, and donât know why. I have no desire to set standards or become an administrator as part of this Users Manual idea.
8) When Dovina leaves a comment on your poem it's best to ignore it, because she's either got her foot firmly planted in her mouth, or her head stuck up her ass.
9) When someone thinks so highly of themselves they believe their tiny insights could be so helpful and interesting to other users, they just might do well in a "Users Manual", feel free to mock them incessantly. 10) When wiping your ass after taking a shit make sure you use 3 and one half squares of two-ply toilet paper, or 6 squares of the single ply. Fold it neatly into an origami goldfish and let him nibble the crap off your asshole. Goldfish love this. 11) Make sure all your entries on your homepage meet with Dovina's approval before final submission. Though she lacks seniorities of any kind (chronologically, mentally, spiritually, or appearance-wise) she has taken it upon her narrow little shoulders to know what's best for everyone involved. 12) When anyone leaves you a nasty comment or a low mark, it is customary to logout and return as an anonymous voter, then go through the entire catalog of the offending participant's poems and give each one a big fat 0. 13) Inversely, if someone praises, or votes highly, on your hacked together schlock, it seems a courtesy to praise, or vote highly, on their hacked together schlock. 14) Check your own comments once in a while, you might realize what an asshat you're making of yourself, or perhaps, like our dear Dovina, you might be too self-righteous to notice. In which case you can skip rule number 14. 15) Never ever take anything you say or do on poemranker seriously. 16) Never ever take anything anyone else says or does on poemranker seriously. 17) Always lie on your right side in a north facing bedroom. Always on your left in a south facing. On your back when facing east. On your stomach when facing west. It's de rigueur amongst the fung shei(sp) crowd, and we wouldn't want to be left out now would we? 18) Never 'make-out' with a poemranker on the first date. You'll only make yourself the victim of cruel gossip. 19) When posting on the Sabbath make sure to wash your hands thoroughly in goatâs blood before hand. Cover your head, and do not look directly at the screen, instead use an intricate layout of 6 mirrors to diminish its powers to 1/128th of the original. This will not only save your life but the lives of all those within a 7 mile radius of your position. 20) Don't 4get just 2 have fun, k? ;)
I have rules 15 & 16 on piece of paper next to my computer in case i really do turn into a gay hating racist.
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1) On the comments page, click on the "Include Comments to Comments" to get the whole scoop. I'd prefer that it came up this way as default.
2)On your home page, click on the "Comments" heading to see which of your poems have received recent comments. It's easy to miss a new comment on an old poem. Same can be said for "Votes."
3) On the "Recent" page, look for the little numbers at the left. They tell you how you voted. It would be nice if a little "c" appeared there when I comment, but do not vote.
4) When commenting, try to follow the good structure Kaolin has set up by being careful which comment you comment on. When a lot of comments are there, it's sometimes best to comment on the poem itself, beginning with "xxx, regarding your insinuation of my utter stupidity, let me rimind you . . ."
5) When you vote and comment on a poem, and the poet revises the poem using your comment, it seems a courtesy to renew your vote or change it so the vote is not lost.
6)Check the Best List once in a while, you could be surprised.
7) Probably other stuff I don't know about yet.