8) When Dovina leaves a comment on your poem it's best to ignore it, because she's either got her foot firmly planted in her mouth, or her head stuck up her ass.
9) When someone thinks so highly of themselves they believe their tiny insights could be so helpful and interesting to other users, they just might do well in a "Users Manual", feel free to mock them incessantly.
10) When wiping your ass after taking a shit make sure you use 3 and one half squares of two-ply toilet paper, or 6 squares of the single ply. Fold it neatly into an origami goldfish and let him nibble the crap off your asshole. Goldfish love this.
11) Make sure all your entries on your homepage meet with Dovina's approval before final submission. Though she lacks seniorities of any kind (chronologically, mentally, spiritually, or appearance-wise) she has taken it upon her narrow little shoulders to know what's best for everyone involved.
12) When anyone leaves you a nasty comment or a low mark, it is customary to logout and return as an anonymous voter, then go through the entire catalog of the offending participant's poems and give each one a big fat 0.
13) Inversely, if someone praises, or votes highly, on your hacked together schlock, it seems a courtesy to praise, or vote highly, on their hacked together schlock.
14) Check your own comments once in a while, you might realize what an asshat you're making of yourself, or perhaps, like our dear Dovina, you might be too self-righteous to notice. In which case you can skip rule number 14.
15) Never ever take anything you say or do on poemranker seriously.
16) Never ever take anything anyone else says or does on poemranker seriously.
17) Always lie on your right side in a north facing bedroom. Always on your left in a south facing. On your back when facing east. On your stomach when facing west. It's de rigueur amongst the fung shei(sp) crowd, and we wouldn't want to be left out now would we?
18) Never 'make-out' with a poemranker on the first date. You'll only make yourself the victim of cruel gossip.
19) When posting on the Sabbath make sure to wash your hands thoroughly in goatâs blood before hand. Cover your head, and do not look directly at the screen, instead use an intricate layout of 6 mirrors to diminish its powers to 1/128th of the original. This will not only save your life but the lives of all those within a 7 mile radius of your position.
20) Don't 4get just 2 have fun, k? ;)
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