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The Motherfuckers and The Mystery of Life (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
It was a grey gloomy day, and the presence of the sun was sadly missed by the Motherfuckers. The surf was low, the tourists high and about. Motherfucker #1 -- Dude, I miss the sun... Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, but how about them Yankees? Motherfucker #1 -- Remember when I accidentally really fucked my mother dude, that night. East of the great West, and the light bulbs all exploded, and the wall paper caught on fire? Jesus, you know, I would have never thought...The odds, you know? Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, you got a stoagie? The first Motherfucker, in a fluid motion, whips out leaf & his fire box and bequeaths of it the light, which it does, and the other Motherfucker then, indeed, has his smoke snack. A seagull hops up and kindly asks the two Motherfuckers, "If perhapsing they would be most kind as two flick it a fry?" Both Motherfuckers shake their heads, ignoring the beaked rat. The seagull tries doing his magical dance for potatoes, but a fat-cunt on her way to the hippo trench, kicks it hard, sending it flapping out of control into a trash receptacle. There, he gets his wings, and finds a cold dog wrapped in old runny sauce. Motherfucker #1 -- I mean, how should I've known that lady was my mother? Christ, she kept saying she wasn't? Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, dude, and that's what they're supposed to say. See, and then you get the breakfast, and the big move in. Motherfucker #1 -- Dude, but that's not the digs? What if say, I actually gave her my God juice, and she harvested it there within her tubes of 'things that come from tubes'? I'd be a Daddybros, and see, that's hard on the softball swing. Motherfucker #2 -- Huh, yeah dude, that's an excellent point. So what happened? Motherfucker #1 -- What do you mean? Motherfucker #2 -- What's different now, after I mean? Because, I mean, you're really a MOTHERfucker. Motherfucker #1 -- I don't know, I can feel luckier, like I won something you know, and it's on the way, you know? Motherfucker #2 -- Ah, yeah dude, totally. The two Motherfuckers get up and proceed to an obvious group of mothers. The first Motherfucker does his magical Motherfucker mating call and greeting, but as luck would have it, right when he finished the last series of instinctual gestures, a Seagull turd at high speed made contact with his face from a good mile up. The second Motherfucker, horrified, tries to pick up the sacred ritual where his friend left off, but it was too late. The Mothers had gotten away.

Up the ladder: On the Lawn

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.537883
Overall Rank: 2478
Posted: February 20, 2004 3:45 PM PST; Last modified: February 20, 2004 3:46 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] A. Nomaly @ 66.42.108.101 | 20-Feb-04/7:54 PM | Reply
That was neat. (first instinctual response)
Funny, that God juice stuff harvesting (now I'm thinking... a long long time ago-I'm so over it,
(go to reread) I still like it, and really I still like you (do you still have the glass cross)like you understood, or what do you have to say? I would like the cross back, is it possible
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.130.214.180 > A. Nomaly | 20-Feb-04/9:12 PM | Reply
Cross back to what? Have we clinked glasses before?
[n/a] A. Nomaly @ 66.42.112.102 | 20-Feb-04/10:02 PM | Reply
WoW! You dont know, hmm..., yes some glasses have been clinked between us, hmm. Im not trying to be secretive, but maybe now is not the best time to reveal everything, I'll get back to you soon. There is a gold cross embedded in glass I gave you for safe keeping, but it was very late, and not a so good nite
[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.130.214.180 > A. Nomaly | 20-Feb-04/10:37 PM | Reply
Really, fascinating, where were we?
[n/a] A. Nomaly @ 66.53.46.44 | 21-Feb-04/5:40 PM | Reply
Venice
[n/a] Shardik @ 24.130.214.180 > A. Nomaly | 21-Feb-04/11:33 PM | Reply
Did we get drunk and fuck? Or stare at eachother, and just laugh at freddy? Or both.
[n/a] A. Nomaly @ 66.53.33.83 > Shardik | 22-Feb-04/8:31 AM | Reply
Both, but it sounds like we should just assume new identities, why live in the past (drugs are wonderful for memory erasing- I dont do any so I remember everything. Anyway, my name is Kristin, I am a painter.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.130.214.180 > A. Nomaly | 22-Feb-04/5:48 PM | Reply
Yeah, well I'm a poet, hi.
[9] Shuushin @ 207.5.211.177 | 21-Feb-04/6:24 PM | Reply
yep. Thats a tinkertoy for the mind; was a fun one.
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