The Motherfuckers and The Mystery of Life (Free verse) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
It was a grey gloomy day, and the presence
of the sun was sadly missed by the Motherfuckers.
The surf was low, the tourists high and about.
Motherfucker #1 -- Dude, I miss the sun...
Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, but how about
Motherfucker #1 -- Remember when I accidentally
really fucked my mother dude, that night.
East of the great West, and the light bulbs
all exploded, and the wall paper caught
on fire? Jesus, you know, I would have never
thought...The odds, you know?
Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, you got a stoagie?
The first Motherfucker, in a fluid motion,
whips out leaf & his fire box and bequeaths
of it the light, which it does, and
the other Motherfucker then, indeed, has
his smoke snack.
A seagull hops up and kindly asks the
two Motherfuckers, "If perhapsing they would
be most kind as two flick it a fry?"
Both Motherfuckers shake their heads,
ignoring the beaked rat. The seagull tries
doing his magical dance for potatoes, but
a fat-cunt on her way to the hippo trench,
kicks it hard, sending it flapping out of
control into a trash receptacle. There,
he gets his wings, and finds a cold dog
wrapped in old runny sauce.
Motherfucker #1 -- I mean, how should I've
known that lady was my mother? Christ,
she kept saying she wasn't?
Motherfucker #2 -- Yeah, dude, and that's
what they're supposed to say. See, and then
you get the breakfast, and the big move in.
Motherfucker #1 -- Dude, but that's not the
digs? What if say, I actually gave her my God
juice, and she harvested it there within her
tubes of 'things that come from tubes'?
I'd be a Daddybros, and see, that's hard on
the softball swing.
Motherfucker #2 -- Huh, yeah dude, that's an
excellent point. So what happened?
Motherfucker #1 -- What do you mean?
Motherfucker #2 -- What's different now,
after I mean? Because, I mean, you're really
Motherfucker #1 -- I don't know, I can feel
luckier, like I won something you know,
and it's on the way, you know?
Motherfucker #2 -- Ah, yeah dude, totally.
The two Motherfuckers get up and proceed to an
obvious group of mothers. The first Motherfucker
does his magical Motherfucker mating call and
greeting, but as luck would have it, right when
he finished the last series of instinctual
gestures, a Seagull turd at high speed made
contact with his face from a good mile up.
The second Motherfucker, horrified, tries to
pick up the sacred ritual where his friend
left off, but it was too late.
The Mothers had gotten away.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: February 20, 2004 3:45 PM PST; Last modified: February 20, 2004 3:46 PM PST
Weighted score: 5.537883
Overall Rank: 2478
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