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Ducks With AIDs (a feeble attempt of something different) (Free verse) by Blindpoetry
This crazy monkey disease Has spread throughout the world From many horny people To molested ducks They lick an ashtray As they get satisfaction The ducks now have Aids We have a new world distraction Is it safe to duck hunt now? If they see us, will they foam at the mouth? Can we eat them and not get poisoned? Maybe an Aids plague will start Maybe it will happen twenty-eight days later And to think this was all started By a horny man He was just looking for some fun “Doing” everything he can Now the man has much regret For molesting the duck But still brags about his attempt Of changing the whole science of a ducks butt…

Up the ladder: Paper Maker
Down the ladder: Left for You

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5704
Posted: February 6, 2004 3:07 PM PST; Last modified: February 6, 2004 3:44 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ 68.106.171.15 | 6-Feb-04/3:27 PM | Reply
oops I over-looked a typo.

"says" in the 28 days later part is really "days"

sorry.
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ 68.106.171.15 > Blindpoetry | 6-Feb-04/3:50 PM | Reply
done. :-)
[8] Billy Biff-Chin @ 213.122.196.99 | 7-Feb-04/1:58 AM | Reply
Very good. -8-

Sorry about plagiarising your other poems. I was just messing around to piss you off.

This is a real improvement on your other poems.

I agree with the other poets here that it's better to write about new, unexpected things than about stale and tired old subjects.

It's better to write about something that will make everyone sit up and take notice.

The idea of licking an ashtray "to get satisfaction" is surprising and interesting.

The next lesson: learn to think beyond the obvious. I suggest you try to describe things in astonishingly accurate but unexpected ways.

But don't take these poems to school. Teachers won't like you writing about ducks with AIDS. That's because teachers are narrow-minded and unimaginative fools with little aptitude for appreciating originality.

That's a broad generalisation, but I remember how rubbish school can be.
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ 68.106.171.15 > Billy Biff-Chin | 7-Feb-04/1:43 PM | Reply
hm... thanks.

I actually write 90% of my poems at school. I don't know why. Its hard for me to write here, at home, because I know my parents will pry in and think I'm spycotic. ...And I only wish your warning was sooner - one of my teachers saw my work once and next thing I knew, I was in a shrinks office. The dude was a freaked... ...so i keep under the radar...
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.87 | 7-Feb-04/6:39 AM | Reply
My poemes are much better than yours.
[10] zodiac @ 67.240.211.170 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 7-Feb-04/8:24 AM | Reply
"User can post new poetry" - show us.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 > zodiac | 7-Feb-04/8:54 AM | Reply
No'm.
[10] zodiac @ 67.240.192.29 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 7-Feb-04/9:03 AM | Reply
C'mon. There's two of you and only one of him. And can you beat a bit like "They lick an ashtray, as they get satisfaction"?? That's gold.
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ 68.106.171.15 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 7-Feb-04/1:45 PM | Reply
Thank you for making me realize that.

...As if that the list of twenty best poems weren't proof enough - or your overall average? heh.
[n/a] lastobelus @ 217.226.20.76 > Blindpoetry | 7-Feb-04/2:07 PM | Reply
Young sir, I must admonish you that in this constituency when a man rattles his sabre in your direction, it is not only proper but indeede requisite to rattle your owne sabre back at him. In fact, in the circumstance of such a supererogatory rattling of the sabre as we have seen here, it would not be at all out of line to slam one's pinte to the table, roar to one's feet sending the bench tumbling and the barmaids flying to the corners (hands trembling 'pon their expansive bosoms), and give the offending rattler a nick about the ear or nose.

I trust that in the future you will be more circumspect.
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ 68.106.171.15 > lastobelus | 7-Feb-04/4:05 PM | Reply
...so... in other words (whithout all these confusing five dollar words being thrown here) :

"Fight back, dammit!"

yes.. I see your point. :)
[n/a] wFraser Allonby Q.C.w @ 195.157.153.249 | 3-Feb-05/9:14 AM | Reply
A joke from this week's POPBITCH(http://www.popbitch.com):

A man walks into a brothel and says "I've only
got a fiver - is there anything you can do for me?"
The Madam says "yes", and gives him a duck.
The man hands over the cash, and disappears
upstairs with the duck.

A couple of weeks later he comes back. "I've
got a tenner this time." he says, "What'll that
get me?" The madam hands the man another duck.

"Hold on!" says the man, "How come this duck is
a tenner when the other one was only a fiver?
"They're both bloody ducks."

"Ah yes, that's right", says the Madam,
"But this one doesn't have AIDS."
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ 68.227.130.156 > wFraser Allonby Q.C.w | 3-Feb-05/12:55 PM | Reply
I've heard a similar joke.
Only...without the AIDS part. o_0;
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