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Liberty! (Free verse) by fevriere
I bit the wedge, I drank the blood I licked juice, I smelt oranges I swam the winter sky, and suddenly LIBERTY! I flicked the febrile fairy from my eyes I knocked Lolita down and didn't cry I snapped the book, and suddenly LIBERTY! The sun's an orange, life's a song My eyelashes are full and long Like love, I dance on, and all along LIBERTY! I broke the bottle, I freed the ship I cracked the varnish, & the manuscript I ripped I broke, and spoke, and suddenly LIBERTY! And my volcano lava love itself comes tumbling out like perfume on myself and colours the reporter who cries who sings LIBERTY!

Up the ladder: Moonlight Paradox
Down the ladder: Touching time

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Weighted score: 4.905148
Overall Rank: 9735
Posted: January 16, 2004 1:17 PM PST; Last modified: December 25, 2004 10:28 AM PST
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Comments:
[10] Goad @ 217.82.0.175 | 17-Jan-04/10:34 AM | Reply
This is an excellent exultation. Hoot'n'holler!
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.112.80 | 17-Jan-04/12:15 PM | Reply
Is it shaped like concrete?
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.112.80 | 17-Jan-04/12:16 PM | Reply
Or do you think that if you keep repeating the word Liberty it will turn into a concrete poem.
[10] Goad @ 217.82.0.175 > horus8 | 17-Jan-04/2:09 PM | Reply
It's miscategorized, but it's in any case worlds better than most of the shit we have to wade through, so maybe some encouragement is in order?
[n/a] fevriere @ 62.254.128.6 > Goad | 18-Jan-04/8:43 AM | Reply
Is it just freeverse? I didn't understand the catergory of "concrete" - maybe I should read a few more.
I appreciate the encouragement, very much so, but as Horus did point out, sometimes it's more complimentary to offer constructive critcisms. I need both.
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