~haiku~

by Entelechist

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 Dec 2003 · 5 comments

The sky weeps with rain brimfulls of liquid sadness A tear drop drowns the world

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5 comments

[n/a] richa 8-Dec-03/3:52 PM Reply

Liquid sadness is a little crude a description. A teardrop drowns the world? why rain (the sky weeps) does not drown the word.

I know what you are trying to say but it just doesn't seem to track.

[n/a] grumpycrafter 8-Dec-03/5:04 PM Reply

So, this is haiku. It's certainly discriptive.

[8] kingit 8-Dec-03/9:07 PM Reply

This works for me-8.

[n/a] Entelechist 9-Dec-03/1:23 AM Reply

Hi Richa,
Thanks for making a comment on this Haiku. I agree with you that a haiku has to be self-explanatory to work, so I won't try and explain the last line. Glad you got some inkling of the sentiments behind it.
Happy scribbling.

[8] horus8 10-Dec-03/4:08 PM Reply

~ I hate curly accentuations, but here's an 8