poemranker ::Something I Hope I Would Not Hear Myself Speak by Lifeboatman

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Free verse № 74973

Something I Hope I Would Not Hear Myself Speak

by Lifeboatman

Member since 2003 · Posted 12 Nov 2003 · 6 comments

The bitches of our time are as plentiful As the flying pigs of antiquity And with as much decency too Though their nest-sties had changed To haystacks, then to cabarets And then to bust seats and pool tables, They still copulate to make extreme their countenances And don their promiscuity without shame

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mean 5.14 weighted 5.04 rank 7203 views 305 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

6 comments

[9] Jeremi B. Handrinos 13-Nov-03/12:37 AM Reply
Yes, they'll hump eachother if none else with a pointer can be found.
[10] ShaNoN+960317485 13-Nov-03/6:26 AM Reply
Hello Butch:o) seems ur tongue must be tied & the pen taken, if u insist in writing as such:o)
[n/a] Lifeboatman › ShaNoN+960317485 13-Nov-03/6:28 PM Reply
remember, this is not meant as an offense for the sexually active nor to the professionals who give sexual pleasure in exchange for currency... i've quite a lot of respect for both cases of human existense since I see love making as a very amiable past time and I have great respect to the people of the latter of both sex and all gender... still, I wish I would not hear myself speak these things... write it-- maybe...
[9] Shuushin 13-Nov-03/8:24 AM Reply
Reads pretty good, actually. Sometimes those wings can give a pre-impression.

Couple crits for you, if you are so inclined.

a comma after "decency" would work well overall, methinks

nest-[sites]? or were you making a play on "nasty"; either way.

"bust seats"? what is that? bus seats? if the "nest-sties" was intentional, then I'd believe this was too.

The last two lines are - perfect.
[n/a] Lifeboatman › Shuushin 13-Nov-03/6:31 PM Reply
thanks.. but I think this poem really doesn't have to be perfected as I think of it as a crock of shit... and for bust seats, it was intentional but I also don't know what they are, sounded great, though, while I was writing the piece...
[8] SupremeDreamer 14-Nov-03/2:30 AM Reply
long time, no see- ive missed your works, and enjoyed this one- even though its pencrap to you.

bust seats- slightly confusing, but i understand what you mean, i hope: empty seats? (bust- adj, lacking funds?)

well anyway, heres an 8.