poemranker ::The Burial by Mona Lisa

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Haiku № 74089

The Burial

Member since 2003 · Posted 8 Nov 2003 · 8 comments

Thick Black rain flowed From the windows of her soul As soil hit the rose.

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mean 6.85 weighted 6.35 rank 837 views 197 View voting details →

13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

8 comments

[9] fair12 8-Nov-03/6:04 AM Reply
I loved the dark melodrama of this piece. I give you a 9...
[10] ShaNoN+960317485 8-Nov-03/7:06 AM Reply
Amen...
[7] deleted user 8-Nov-03/1:58 PM Reply
thick things don't flow

and where did the rose come from
[n/a] horus8 8-Nov-03/3:21 PM Reply
Good form and attention to structure, but cliche imagery.
[10] sliver 9-Nov-03/9:31 AM Reply
I like it, the darkness of it seems to touch my soul somehow.10
[9] http://mulberryfairy 9-Nov-03/11:11 AM Reply
I liked it all except "windows of her soul", even though "soul" went with Black and soil. Maybe you could work in soul without the cliche.
[8] Bachus 16-Nov-03/1:37 AM Reply
Cliche, but honest.
[10] capachijim 18-Nov-03/3:38 PM Reply
love it -10-