Free verse № 71681
Behind My Blue Eyes (rough draft)
Like light on the azure oceans
I may look beautiful on the surface,
But if you swim in me,
If you drown in my emotions
You will see me crash upon rocks,
You will see me caress islands
But like a tide I must retreat,
For I am ever changing,
And you my love are the coral which cuts me,
The sloping sand I cannot reach
The crying gull,
The perfect beach.
Beneath my skin there are layers of soul
And you touch my skin with a hunger,
But you starve my soul my love.
Talk to me and tell me why,
You think our love will never die,
Tell me why I am unique
Be my strength when I am weak,
My constant sun, my shepherding moon,
My winter sky, my warming June
Only then will I be whole.
6 comments
MEDIOCRITY CODE
0074C001
http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/code.
Beautiful on the surface/but if you swim in me....
the following should be why you are not beautiful, not about caressing islands.
I think carress islands should come before 'but if you swim in me'
It is a rough draft, but I would not comment if I thought it was meritless, I think you have some nice images and although the idea is a bit worn I'm sure you can polish it up a bit.
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