richa23 Oct 2003

Using the word soul is too abstract, you can not expect the reader to understand your conception of it.

Beautiful on the surface/but if you swim in me....

the following should be why you are not beautiful, not about caressing islands.

I think carress islands should come before 'but if you swim in me'

It is a rough draft, but I would not comment if I thought it was meritless, I think you have some nice images and although the idea is a bit worn I'm sure you can polish it up a bit.