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Behind My Blue Eyes (rough draft) (Free verse) by Mona Lisa

Like light on the azure oceans I may look beautiful on the surface, But if you swim in me, If you drown in my emotions You will see me crash upon rocks, You will see me caress islands But like a tide I must retreat, For I am ever changing, And you my love are the coral which cuts me, The sloping sand I cannot reach The crying gull, The perfect beach. Beneath my skin there are layers of soul And you touch my skin with a hunger, But you starve my soul my love. Talk to me and tell me why, You think our love will never die, Tell me why I am unique Be my strength when I am weak, My constant sun, my shepherding moon, My winter sky, my warming June Only then will I be whole.

god'swife 23-Oct-03/12:44 PM
Lovely, needs some tidying up, but that's all. Please please get rid of the qoutation marks at the end. Oh, it's like wearing white platformed sandals with black hose. In fact if you toss that entire last line out, the poem would be the better for it. You've already brought the soul in at the first line of that stanza. Leave it be.




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