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Life/Death (revised) (Free verse) by devotedwonder Life
Birds chirping
Grass growing
Babies crying
Sun shining
The world turning
beautiful to breathe air
Death
Birds silent
Grass dead
Babies no longer crying
Sun blackened
The world is dying
beautiful to breathe your last breath
Up the ladder:
Tom and Jerry
Down the ladder:
Head-on Collision (True story)
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 1.0
Posted: July 31, 2002 10:43 PM PDT; Last modified: August 1, 2002 8:18 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.523188 Overall Rank: 12740 Comments:
[10]
deleted user @ 64.12.96.237
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31-Jul-02/10:45 PM
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Reply
Its really well writen,i like it
the only redeeming part of this is the dead fetuses.
a line is drawn. i stand with the dead fetuses.
i changed the dead fetus part, and i hope that this version does not offenend anyone. I am sorry if the last version did.
GODDAMN YOU TO THE DEEPEST CIRCLE OF HELL! The fetuses were the only redeeming part of the othrwise inane piece of drivel!
if you feel the need to change so as not to offend, poetry is not for you.
Poo/Wee(unrevised)
Poo/ Fart brewing/ Poo slurping/ crap shooting/ shit steaming/ the bowl is filling/ beautiful log to see/ Wee/ bowels filling/ piss steaming/ wee gleaming/ urine burning/ gentials hurting/ what did you put in that tea. 119 view(s)
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